The Five Steps | Jensoo

Chapter 29

Jennie

I can't get up the apartment stairs fast enough.

I whirl around the banister, my head spinning as I push through our door and almost run smack into Hyunah.

"You good?" she asks, a steaming styrofoam cup of noodles in her hand. "You look a little..." Her voice trails off as she gives me a once-over. "Frazzled."

Frazzled?

Jennie Kim does not get frazzled.

Definitely not over Kim Jisoo.

"Yeah, I'm totally cool," I say, letting out a weird laugh as I head down the hall to my room. "Totally fine!" I add, closing and locking the door behind me. I rest my back against it, sliding down to the floor.

What the fuck was that?

I squeeze my eyes shut, pressing the palms of my hands against them but I still see Jisoo's face painted against my eyelids, steadily leaning forward, her lips close enough to...

I pull my hands away and shake my head, the image fading.

"Come on, Jennie. Don't make it more than it is," I mutter as I slide my legs straight out in front of me, my shoes knocking together.

I mean, I haven't kissed anyone in a whole month. That's practically a record! It's no wonder this fake date had me all flustered.

But my brain keeps circling back. To the skating rink, the smell of her floral perfume, the feeling of her hands in mine. To the library, her brown eyes in the soft light, her gaze filling my stomach with butterflies. It didn't feel fake.

"Shit."

I slide farther down, lying completely flat on the carpeted floor. I watch the headlights of a car driving past outside dance across my tile ceiling, my heart thumping through the fabric of my T-shirt.

I like Jisoo.

The thought comes to me out of the blue, shocking at first but then...

I repeat it over and over again, finding a scary truth in the words.

I like Jisoo.

Rollerskating for a first date Jisoo.

Can't even ask a girl out Jisoo.

Dresses like a sixty year old woman Jisoo.

I groan and roll over onto my side, tucking my legs up as the thought of her clothes brings with it the thought of Mrs. Parker and her smiling face. The adoring way she looks at Jisoo. The conspiratorial way she winked at me when we met.

...How much she'd hate me when I would inevitably break Jisoo's heart because apparently Irene's right.

Irene.

The girl I have history with. Who said she loves me despite all the reasons she shouldn't. The girl I just spent the last month working my ass off for to prove that I can be a good person. That I can be real and honest and open up to people.

Only... all I did was open up to the wrong one.

It was just... for the first time it didn't feel claustrophobic or awful. It was... so easy. Tonight at the library. Two weeks ago in her dorm room.

My stomach sinks through the floor and I reach out to pick at an unruly carpet strand.

I guess I'm exactly the person Irene said I was.