I remember a mean, no, sick trick that my ♡crush♡ had played on me a while back...
....
So, this is when I frist started to have feelings for ♡her♡ and one day we were sitting in math class and she gave a note. It said;
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
I was over the moon. I looked at ♡her♡ and asked "are you serious?!" She said "yes"
So, of course, I said yes. Why wouldn't I? I thought ♡she♡ was serious. ♡She♡ actually loved me back.
......
But. I was wrong. ♡She♡ said that ♡she♡ was just seeing if I was gay. I was heart broken. I was too gullible...
And my friend who knew I liked ♡her♡ even defended ♡her♡ and didn't say that it was mean. Or sick. Or curel.
You can't play with others feelings, you don't know what they're thinking of. Of what their hearts say. Of how they feel.
I even did confess my feelings.........♡she♡ did nothing. I'm not going to force her into a relationship or anything, but I'm still sad. Then the lies. The lies. The lies. The lies. The lies. Telling people ♡she♡ 'loves' me. That she'd 'date' me. Total bs.
Present time, I'm not sure if I still love ♡her♡. We haven't talked in a while. ♡She♡ hasn't shown any emotions of love. But then why am I still wanting ♡her♡ love? Why am I still convincing myself I'm still in love? Crushes, love, I've never been good at. None of the people I've ever given my heart too crush it in my face.
But it's still so confusing to me. I've never experienced this amount of emotions at once. My heart aches when ♡she♡ doesn't want anything to do with me. But my heart beats for ♡her♡ and lights up when ♡she♡ smiles, fake or not.
Why does my brain and heart want ♡her♡ so bad even when ♡she's♡ hurt me so bad?
Why do I feel like way?
What can I do to get rid of this feeling?
Why do I feel like ♡she's♡ all I'd ever need?
Why do I wish ♡she'd♡ love me despite everything?
Is it the feeling of being broke so many times? The feeling of being lonely and having no one to look forward to anymore? Is it because ♡shes♡ the only one before making me feel this way? Is something wrong with me?
I'm sorry for venting to you all, I'm sorry if you find it annoying. There are wrost things out in the world and it must be annoying to you. I'm sorry. I needed to put my feelings somewhere. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so annoying and awful I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't want you to worry for me I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry you don't have to forgive me I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please forgive me I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so awful for this aren't I I'm such a burden I'm sorry forgive me please please please i do everything to try to please you I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I can do better I promise I'm so awful I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please don't worry about me I don't want you to worry about me I want you to be happy everyone has to be happy right right right I'm sorry forgive me forgive me I'm such an awful perosn I'm sorry I'm sorry this must come to be like such a burden and annoying I'm sorry I promise to do better I'll get better I promise please forgive me I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't want you to leave me like everyone else I'm sorry I'm sorry please forgive me I can do better I won't be a burden and annoying and I'll never vent again if you want please don't leave me like everyone else I just want you to love me and be happy everyone has to be happy right right right I promise to do better if you'll forgive me please forgive me I'll never vent again I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
YOU ARE READING
Ello :D
RandomYEAHHH WHAT IS UP If u wanna talk to others here u go But it's mostly for my followers ._. And other random shit, so enjoy ig :))
