The perfect pair ‧ Park Jay [on hold]

1

SHIN AERA, she gave up on love.

And it wasn't because she is incapable of loving. It was because no one was sure enough of loving her. In the end, no one has ever been capable of staying either.

She was a girl who wasn't loved right. Nothing hurt her worse than having to live with that. It destroyed her to exist this way because it wasn't who she is. She used to have a heart full of love.

Her father the first man she loved, yet the first man to disappoint her. The first man to let her down. And the first man to give her a reason to lower her expectations. 

Certainly, she hated him. God how could she not? She was disgusted with him. He's the reason why she grew up so hard.

At a young age she began to wonder why her dad never made it a priority to build an actual relationship with her. Was she not enough? She's more than enough.

The older she got, the more she realized why he couldn't. The hatred she harbored for him was beyond words. There was nothing she wanted more than for him to disappear.

Out of all the people that could be given the title of a father, that man was not deserving of it. She wanted to forget him, so she would overcome it by shutting everyone out. If it meant not getting hurt again.

At the end of the day, she finds herself alone. It's not a physical loneliness. It's not something that can be fixed by the touch of a lover's hand or a false life made up of people that adore her.

It's the pain of knowing that nobody sees her. After all, how can anybody notice her if she isn't truly there?

She parades around in a mask created by those who told her she wasn't good enough. She abandoned herself for a society that doesn't understand how to appreciate her.

She's alone because she doesn't have anyone. She's alone because she doesn't even have herself.

She yearn for the warmth of another. So much so that her nights are often spent holding a pillow tightly to her chest imagining someone would do the same for her.

But then the sun rises and no longer does she desire the comfort of another. Affection is avoided at all costs, and the notion of love slips from her mind.

In the presence of others she do not think of the love she dream about, Simply because she know not a soul who could provide it.

It is only in the shadows of night, the pages of a book, or the lyrics of a song, that she can imagine and yearn for the love she desire.

She was a lost soul in need of help. Searching for a way out of this dark pit.

But she was too afraid of what would happen if she were to let someone in.

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hello, ive made a jay series :)
hope yall enjoyed it!