Junooniyat

"4"

I stared at the black ceiling as the tears flowed down my eyes, this feeling building inside me, killing me, a huge lump in my throat anger in my veins but still am crying rather than venting my anger on anyone.

Am hurt!

Fucking hurt!

My ego and self respect is shattered at this point!

I want to kill-cry-scream.

But all am doing here is lying on my bed facing the ceiling, the room filled with darkness, moon as the only source of light.

Sometimes i feel like wrapping my hands around that stupid ball and tug it off the sky, throwing it somewhere away.

It destroys the beauty of the sky, the empty blackness.

It destroys it!!!!

I turned on my side, my back facing the window! As i hug myself a sob left my mouth.

I clenched my jaw in hatred & anger as I recall what happened few minutes back.

Some hours back:

I rang the bell of the stupid blue colour house, i so hate this colour it's too friendly and depicts happiness.

I hate it

I hate all the colours!!!

That shows how fake one can be!!!

Every fucking colour is fake.

Gets mixed with eachother and form another one.

But not black.

Not black

It turns that colour in black too.

That's the power.

Power of black.

It is powerful the reason i love black the most.

The door opened breaking my chain of thoughts.

And i was welcomed by the brightest - beautiful -charming- killer smile.

"Hey"Manik beamed, astonished. Seeing me there, the smile he had on his face bought a smile on my face. Not fake!

Real one!

That's rare.

Last i smiled real with-

Nevermind leave that.

"Hey"i greeted

"'come i-"

"Who is it!!!!"i forgot there is a bitch with him in this house, the one too innocent and lovely, the one whose life was never cruel with her, the one who literally lived a fairy tale life. One who thinks her parents not accepting their so called love as the biggest tragedy of her life.

But darling still don't know the real meaning of life.

Nor she will!!

God is kind on her,she is definately his favourite.

"It's Anamika"and i never loved my name more, it's beautiful how he said it, as if it was made to spell out by him, it sounded perfect. And i can't help but grim at him.

"Come on- come in"he said smiling at me opening the door for me, that's when i noticed his arm stretched out. He is a fucking masterpiece, a piece of a fucking art.

Only for me!!!

I walked into the house,it was the same filled with colour, white marbles yellow walls, pink sofas, white central table pink curtains.

Fucking fairyland.

"Hey"the god's favourite chirped at me, as she got on her feets, keeping the TV Remote aside,my eyes checked the clock it's 8.p.m. Sunday.

Their movie night, ofcourse.

"Hey"i masked the most fake and sugary smile as i kept the red wine bottle on the table, and walked towards her, side hugging her.

What the fuck, she smells like a fucking flower, what is she?

A flower pot?

"Actually as it was weekend, so i had no work to do and was getting bored so decided to make some good bond with my neighbours" i said smiling the most fake at her, and she grinned.

"Sure that was the best decision, Nandini said, we were watching movie, join us!!!"she said, and i can't help but smile when all i wanted to smash that tv up whose volume is eating my head right now.

"Uhmm actually a friend gifted me, this, would you like to join me?" I asked and eyed at Manik, who walked out of the kitchen with a tray of glass in his hand.

I can't help but smile, the care he has , no one ever cared for me that much!!!!

"Sure"Nandini said keeping her hand on mine, i smiled resisting the urge to fucking shove her hand off mine.