Forever and Always

Chapter 8

A/N: The song that Steve and the reader dance to at the end is 'I Hear a Symphony' by: Cody Fry. Yes I know this song was released in 2017 and wouldn't be here during this time but we can all pretend. Alright, good enjoy!

When heading back to the common room floor we were greeted by Thor. "Friends you're finally back" "Hey Thor" I smiled. "There is a huge feast in the kitchen" I gazed over to what looked like a buffet of sandwich items such as; condiments, meat, bread, toppings, sauces. I felt drool pooling in my mouth and I drowned out the conversation as I headed straight to the food. I grabbed a hoagie roll and started loading it up with all this yummy goodness. I sat down and started taking bites of this big sandwich to the best of my ability. "You eat like a champion my Lady" Thor chuckled while he and Steve joined me. "I can't remember the last time I ate" We ate in silence and I stuffed my stomach until I couldn't eat another bite. I felt so much better after having food in me. "How was the mission?" I asked after taking a moment to wipe the crumbs from the table into my hand and onto my plate. Steve smiled, "it was easy just tedious, we had to get some data from this group so we could figure out where their hideouts were located and take them out" I hummed, "It would be awesome to see all you guys in your gear and fighting" I looked at Thor curiously and he smiled at me, "I have a morbid question" I tried to keep in the chuckle, he nodded for me to continue, "So lightning doesn't affect you but what if you were in water and used lightning would you and everything in the water get electrocuted?" Steve let out a laugh, "Doll, oh my gosh" Thor shook his head, "The things around me would simply get electrocuted but not the whole body of water I was in nor myself." I nodded approvingly, "that's sick" "How would that be sick?" he questioned and I laughed, "It means cool" "Ahh I see... You're sick" he said which made Steve and I laugh again, "We'll work on it" I went to get up and grab my plate when Steve stopped me, "don't worry about it" I sighed as he took it, I walked over to the fridge to grab a water bottle and make my way over to the couch.

I didn't do much but I felt exhausted, probably from my body trying to heal mixed with the mental exhaustion I felt from earlier today at work. There were quiet murmurs from behind me and then Natasha walked into view and sat on the couch facing me. She studied my face for a moment, "How're you feeling?" "Sore in some places but mostly mentally exhausted" she nodded, "I can understand that" I was sitting in the corner of the couch between the armrest and the back with my legs criss crossed. "Were you so caught up with work and bills that when your boss hit you, you didn't think to quit?" I assumed the group had been talking about what had happened as Thor said nothing about my appearance earlier. Sometimes I feel like they treat me like I'm fragile but I can handle a lot and I have. "Have you ever felt like you were only holding onto a tiny piece of thread that connected you to reality and without that you'd be lost not being able to find a way back" she slowly nodded taking me by surprise but I continued either way, "that's how I felt. I know I could've easily quit and worked as a server or something in retail but that was never going to help me achieve my goal. Companies look for one thing and that's experience. How're you supposed to gain experience if no one hires you due to not having any?' I licked my lips before continuing, 'that job. Kyle had me wrapped around his finger. I didn't want to demote myself. I wanted to just finish what I had to do so I could leave but leave and be happy" I looked down, not really having ever voiced my thoughts out loud before about why I stuck with the job for as long as I did.

It was silent before I looked up again, "but now that I think about it, Kyle would threaten me about how I half assed my work and how I needed to live up to his expectations and higher to get a good word out of him" I scoffed, "the hours I put in, the lack of sleep and food that I had just to finish everything he gave me. The job was tolerable until I didn't finish one assignment otherwise, I never missed a day, came in when I was sick and worked my ass off everyday including weekends to show I was good enough' at this point I knew I was just arguing with myself pointing out how stupid I was after all I did for that company to be treated the way I was. Natasha just sat and listened as I kept talking, 'he always told me I wasn't good enough and that I would never be good enough' I got up and slowly start pacing, I stopped in front of Natasha raising my voice more towards myself than her and she understood, 'you know what he told me, he asked me if I thought I was good enough to be with someone that actually cared about me and then proceeded to say he was the determining factor on my future and whether or not I wanted to live a good life. I'm sorry but what did that asshole ever do that would even remotely help me in my future. I bet if I lived to finish the rest of the year off he would've trapped me and not let me move on to something better." The realization hit me like a ton of bricks and I stumbled back tears flowing from my eyes as I shook my head, "he would've trapped me" I whispered.