They spend the better part of the day sitting out by the lake; swimming, laying around, and playing the games that Karl brought along. And for most of the day, Dream is able to convince himself that things will be okay, that they might even be normal again at some point. Because if they can make it through this weekend, then there's hope for them to build a friendship in the future.
The idea of being friends with George used to make Dream feel physically sick. It had always been difficult to fathom a world in which George wasn't completely his and he wasn't completely George's. And still, he knows a part of him will always belong to George, and if the only way he can keep him around is by being a friend to him, then that's what he'll do. He knows it'll be painful, but it won't be worse than losing George completely.
As it begins to near evening, and the scorching heat has just started to die out, Sapnap plants his hands on the wooden picnic table that sits beside the lake. George's attention is turned down towards his open book, and Karl is inside taking a nap, and so Dream raises his eyebrows questioningly in Sapnap's direction.
"I'm gonna start on dinner," Sapnap states, "I'm starving."
Hunger gnaws at Dream's stomach after a long day spent out in the sun, but there's something more, too. He thinks about his decision from earlier, and he thinks this might be the perfect chance to talk to Sapnap alone and finally tell him the truth. He knows George won't want to be a part of the conversation, and so he offers, "I'll help you."
He prays he hasn't caught George's attention, but George's eyes drift up from the worn pages of his book anyway. He stares across the table at Dream, and he doesn't look away even as Sapnap responds, "it's alright, I'm just gonna make some burgers."
Dream's skin prickles uncomfortably, and he runs a hand through damp hair, distracts himself with the knotted wood of the table as he answers, "it's not a big deal, Sap. I wanted to talk to you about something anyway."
The words peak Sapnap's interest, and Dream is sure he already knows what it's about. How could he not at this point? Sapnap nods, and Dream braces himself against the table, catches George's gaze and tries to ignore the way George is silently pleading with him.
He won't give in, because he thinks he needs to do this for the sake of his own sanity. And so he stands up, follows Sapnap inside and hovers around awkwardly while Sapnap pulls out ingredients for dinner.
"What's going on?" Sapnap asks him slowly as he sets down a plastic bag filled with hamburger rolls.
Dream blinks, digs the blunt edges of his nails into his palms, and wonders when it all became so complicated. He doesn't even know where to start, so much has happened that Sapnap doesn't know about. He could start with the breakup three months ago, all the things that led up to their relationship crumbling to pieces, the fact that he's been staying with his mom all summer because his apartment no longer feels like home.
He knows that Sapnap won't be mad at him for lying, but still, he's nervous. He shifts his weight on his feet, and then finally starts, "you know how you asked me about George the other day?"
Sapnap nods slowly, carefully, like he's scared of disrupting Dream's train of thought.
"Yeah," Sapnap answers, "I mean, you two have been acting really weird this whole weekend. Is everything okay with you two?"
Dream's chest tightens at the question, and even though he wants to tell Sapnap, he can't seem to force the words out. It feels too surreal, to be admitting what happened to someone who knows just about everything about him. The only person he's told so far is his mom, and he only told her through tears and uneven breaths, curled up on the couch in his childhood home while she comforted him.
YOU ARE READING
I Wanna Be Yours
FanfictionA short story about the end of summer, road-trips to Georgia, and spending the weekend with your ex-boyfriend. I wrote this for practice and ended up liking it and now I am sharing it with you :) (there is some nsfw in this story but I didn't put a...