In The Middle Of The Night |Illumi|

I

You took a deep breath as you stared at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. The bags under your eyes indicated that you had gone a few days with little to no sleep. You couldn't remember the last time you got a good nights rest especially with the impending occasion coming up. There was a light knock at the door and with the turn of the knob your door was opened. Your mother cheerfully walked into the bathroom all dressed up for tonight's dinner. Your eyes drifted to your room which had been disturbed with the evening sunlight pouring, curtains you could've sworn were closed before you dragged yourself in here.

"Darling you really should open those curtains more often. It feels like a morgue every time I come in here," She huffed out.

Ah, so she took it upon herself to open them.

"I brought the necklace I wore on the night of my engagement dinner." She said turning her attention to the dark blue velvet box, setting it gently on the counter.

She quickly frowned upon seeing the state you were in.

"Why haven't you gotten ready yet? You don't look at all delighted; you know how important this dinner is tonight! We've waited twenty years for-"

"I know mother." You quickly said trying to save yourself from the lecture that would no doubt make your family late to the dinner if she rambled on.

You met her strict gaze in the mirror and mumbled an apology as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. Her face softened as she walked over to you; her hands finding their way to your shoulders.

"Please try to understand this will make both our families stronger. You were practically raised as a Zoldyck, but we need it to be official." Your mother said as you looked at her reflection in the mirror.

"I grew and trained with Milluki," You said as you shrugged her hands off your shoulders. "Shouldn't I be marrying him instead? I know nothing about Illumi."

You watched in the reflection the way your mother rolled her eyes clearly displeased with your response.

"You are well aware of our agreement that the eldest daughter goes to the eldest Zoldyck son. Honestly darling you act as if this is the end of the world? Your father and I knew nothing about one another and we turned out just fine. Now please get ready, we wouldn't want to keep your husband to be waiting anymore than he already has!" She exclaimed as she made her way out of the bathroom.

You knew that your parents had an arranged marriage like their parents before them. You've lost count of the times your mother would tell you stories about how your father wasn't who she chose to marry but that didn't mean that he didn't eventually become the love of her life. They built an entire life together which lead to the successful artillery business they ran and you. You knew the ties your family had with the Zoldyck's had been strictly business but now that you were of age it meant that bond would be taken from business to family. No matter what your parents told you this was nothing but another business deal to you.

You hadn't always dreaded being married to the oldest of the famous assassins. In fact you recall on several occasions Milluki teasing you for getting lost in thought and scribbling Illumi's name over and over again when you should've been studying up on jobs you'd taken on. However, despite training day and night with Milluki for years you had only laid your eyes on Illumi twice. You were around nine years old when you saw him for the first time. You and Milluki were were practicing ren when Illumi came home from a successful training mission at Heaven's Arena.

You couldn't take your eyes off the way he moved so effortlessly; you punched Milluki for teasing you for staring at his brother for longer than needed. The second time you finally came face to face with Illumi at the age of thirteen. You had learned you were a transmitter with your speciality being in poisons. Although you had successful learned how to use nen Silva knew you had a long way to go before you'd be able to use it flawlessly. He wanted to teach you the important lesson on when to back down from an opponent where success wasn't guaranteed.

You knew Illumi was stronger than you and Milluki combined but you refused to let him believe you were weak. After all you had been training day and night with all the toxins you could get your hands on. You cringed at the memory of Illumi looking down at your defeated body, you groaned as you held onto your side only to look up to meet his emotionless eyes.

"This is all you've been able to accomplish? You are the weakest out of us all. You won't be much use to me when we marry. Train harder or I'll kill you" He said flatly as you watched him turn to walk away not missing the way your heart skipped a beat.

You made a promise to yourself then to get stronger even though you didn't have much of a choice. Not only would you be a disgrace to your family but you'd pay for it with your life. Now at the age of twenty it had been seven years since you had seen Illumi and you dreaded it. You didn't trust your mind or your body around him; all logically thinking out the window when he was near. Although you'd gotten stronger and the training you completed with Mulluki had paid off part of you felt you'd never be enough for Illumi.

Not smart enough.
Not strong enough.
Not pretty enough.

You rolled your eyes knowing you were stalling at this point because this engagement was going to happen whether you liked it or not. And with that you started to get ready for the dinner with your future husband and family in law. Once you showered you wrapped a towel around yourself, walking back to your mirror to quickly do your makeup and hair. You carefully put on your black octavia dress, making sure not to ruin your work. You opened the box your mother had left behind and ran your fingertips over the smooth texture of the pearls. You removed the necklace and put it on yourself. The cool pearls making contact with your warm skin caused you to shiver.

Here goes nothing.