Imagine

Thoughts

I'm in pain and yet I'm not physically wounded, I've lost almost everything and I'm struggling to hold onto my sanity as I lose my grip of what once was.

It's not worth denying, I've cried far too many tears for those who simply didn't care for me as I did for them. I've loved from afar and learnt that distance is mostly denial. I've loved wholly, with every morsel I possessed and still either way I've been left shattered with no hope of ever believing that things will eventually get better.

Loneliness prolongs the devastation that has occurred. Oh how I ache. I have so many questions that I long for explanations to and yet I know I'll never get my answers leaving me in this state. This unbearable state. And so I'm yearning for those who have left, taking their piece of me that I had so trustingly given them. I believe that is my pain, that I too easily give myself to others in desperation to feel whole, to feel wanted, loved. Yet they leave.

Pathetically loving a being whom found ease to leave and not fight nor stand by me has brought immense agony. Love is the most addictive drug with the most horrific withdrawal, leaving you weak and desperate for any opportunity to forefill the need. Regardless of my hurt. I love the drug and I love the high and I love the one who is nothing but danger to me.

Therefor left here thinking, what is the purpose anymore?

I wish that I were strong, in myself

To be continued...