Situationship

shattered

MARRIED
EPISODE 12
Jessica walked by the side of the road as rain poured down. She was moving like a robot. She was not even sure if her brain was working at all anymore. Events of the past just replayed in her head like the clips of a movie’s advert. This was not the first time that she would find her man with her best friend. The first man she ever dated cheated on her with her best friend. The horrifying scene of catching them in the act flashed through her mind as she walked, oblivious to the rain that had glued her cloth to her skin. Being left at the altar and the death of her entire family still remained the most horrifying of her entire life until this evening but as she walked the  sad road, she  could not remember ever  feeling  this  broken  in  her  entire  life.  Sonia’s  words  kept  coming and coming until she felt she was going to go crazy but she just kept on walking. No part of her body felt alive as she walked on the darkened and wet road; not even the legs that carried her.
She did not know if she should put the blame on Sonia. She had come visiting and almost got raped in the process. Tears rolled down her cheeks ceaselessly but no one would have noticed since the salty rain water was all over her face. Her purse which she took to the saloon was clutched in her hand as she held it like a weapon at her side. She had no idea where she was going but she just went wherever her feet led her, she was content knowing that it was far away from Andy.
“Jessica”
Jessica heard her name being called and tensed but she did not even think of answering. She just went her way. Andy came out of the car,  leaving  it  at  the  middle  of  the  road.  He  had  been  searching  for some  time,  moving  the  car  slowly  in  order  not  to  miss  her  and  had become apprehensive and terribly worried when the rain had started.
“Jessica,  Oh  my  God”  he  murmured  as  he  ran  after  her  in  the rain. Within seconds, he was also wet due to the velocity of the heavy rain. He got to her in no time but she would not stop walking. It was as if she could neither see nor hear him. “Jessica please, for the Love of God, stop this. Don’t hurt yourself like this” Jessica was shivering as she walked but she did not even seem to notice that she was shivering.
“I am so sorry Jess but please, let me take you home”  he held her hand. “Please”
She turned her head sharply as his hand touched hers. “Get your filthy hands off me this minute” Andy did not let her go. “Home?” she asked. “Which home? I have no home” she shivered.   “Especially not in your house”.
“Please Jess, even if you are going to hate me, I would not   leave you out here like this.”
“Well, it is not in your place to make decisions for me, you don’t have  the  right  and  you  never  will”  she  fought  to  keep  her  clattering teeth in place. “Why can’t you leave me alone? What did I ever do to offend the world” she cried furiously. The cars were busy blasting horns and raining curses as they bypassed Andy’s car but Andy did not hear any of it.
“Sweetheart I…” he paused. “Jess, please, I know it is hard for you to trust me now but please let me get you out of this rain, please…”
“No… I said no”
Andy breathed deep and scooped her into his arms. She started fussing and yelling and the passing cars started looking suspiciously at them. He took her straight to the car, holding her effortlessly but firmly through her struggles. When they got to the car, he put her down and stared straight at her. “I would take you anywhere you want to go Jess but I can’t leave you here. It is either you go with me or we both stay here in the rain. Please”
Jessica  contemplated  the  situation,  staring  impassively  at  him. The chill was getting to her bones and she was not sure she could stand for  more   than  a   few  seconds.   She  had   expended  all   her  energy. Swallowing hard and tamping down the feeling of defeat, she opened the  door  and  entered.  Andy  held  out  the  door  for  her  and  closed  it immediately she got in. When Andy got behind the wheels, she looked outside her window, moving as far away from him as possible. “Take me to Lizzy’s place.”
Andy breathed deeply and started the engine. His heart ached terribly as he saw her shivering uncontrollably. There was no cloth at all in the car that he could use to cover her. He was cold too but he knew that he could handle himself. He turned up the heater to the highest and turned the fans in Jess’ direction. He quenched every desire to talk and explain things. He did not want to upset her more. He was greatly relieved when her shivering reduced a bit. Silence reigned in the car as Andy drove to Lizzy’s house. He kept on  glancing  at  her   all  the  way  but  Jessica’s   eyes  were  glued  to  a distance  beyond  the  window.  On  getting  there,  Jessica  did  not  even give  room  for  any  discussion.  She  said  ‘thanks’,  alighted  and hurried into  the  house  in  the  rain  which  was  no  longer  as  heavy  as  it  was before.  She  pounded  Lizzy’s  door,  waiting  for  the  door  to  open.  She heard Lizzy murmuring something inside and her anger grew. The door opened and Lizzy’s expression changed to extreme surprise.
“What? Jessie, what are you-” Lizzy squealed in surprise.
Jessica’s fist swung and connected with Lizzy’s face. 
“Ouch!” Lizzy moaned.
“How could you?”  Jessica barked.  “I trusted in you because you were  smart  enough  to  detect  that  something  was  not  right  between Andy and I. I opened up and told you everything, how could you then tell  Sonia  about  this?  I  thought  you  promised  never  to  tell  anyone.” Jessie’s eyes shot fire.
“Whoa  Jessie”  the  slap  still  stunned  her  but  she  pulled  Jessica inside and slammed the door. “You are speaking Chinese.    I did not tell anyone anything”
“Oh great. Now the world is full of liars”
“Now Jessie, I am serious. I cross my heart. If I weren’t a good Christian, I would have sworn. I did not tell anyone anything”
“But Sonia  knows” Jessica knew Lizzy was not lying but she had no idea how else Sonia would have known about the contract. Lizzy was someone who was very transparent and anyone would see through her if she was lying.
“She  must   have  found  out   somehow  or  from   someone  but definitely not from me” Lizzy was alarmed. “What is going on Jessie? You are really scaring me. You look like a terrified dripping cat”
“I just want to sleep Lizzy. I want to sleep so that my head can stop spinning” Jessica swallowed, not willing to cry. Lizzy looked at her critically  and  decided  to  wait  till  the  next  day  before  she  found  out what really happened.
“OK. Come and get rid of this cloth. Did I mention that you are looking very sexy in this dress?” Lizzy  said, trying to make Jessica smile a bit but when Jessica fought back tears instead of smiling, she knew that something was terribly wrong with her and all her instincts pointed at Andy.
*****
Jessica lay on Lizzy’s bed feeling shattered. Her life just  seemed to go from one point of disaster to the other. She wondered why this occurrence   seemed   to  be   more   painful,   compared   to   the   other problems   that  she   had  had   to   face  in   her  life.   Her   head  ached terrifyingly and she groaned. Tears kept coming and coming.      She had been able to maintain a ‘no crying’ stance for a long time but in just one night,  she   had  cried   immensely.  The   tears  came   but  she   had  no strength to wipe it off.
She had surrendered her most precious gift to Andy, something that she had treasured, something that she had refused to give her past lovers.  Thinking  of  how   everything  had  shattered  was  so  alarming. Everything had been a charade. Just a surface charade to get past her pants. But even though Jessica wanted to make herself believe that it had also been a charade for her and that she did not have feelings for Andy,  she  knew  that  it  was  a  lie.  Andy  had  been  part  of  her  every thought ever since she met him, which was one of the reasons why she detested him. She had detested him for the   mere fact  that  he was a man  and  had  used  her  hate  or  dislike  to  her  advantage  but  his  late nights always got to her, terribly. She always found herself wondering what he was doing and with whom. He almost did not notice her and it hurt   her  feminine   ego.   Dressing  differently   yesterday   had  almost nothing to do with Andy’s father, but had everything to do with Andy; she had only used her father-in-law as an excuse. When she had gone to bed with him, it hadn’t been because she was married to him, it was because she really wanted to give him that gift. She had wanted him to have it, but now, it turned out to be the worst  mistake  she  ever  made.  Why  did  she  always  have  to  develop feelings  for  the  wrong  people?  Why  was  life  so  unfair?  Why  did  she have to cry over and over again?
Lizzy  entered  with   a  plate  of  hot  rice   and  stew  and  Jessica quickly wiped her face but Lizzy did not miss it. Lizzy was now terribly worried.  She  could  not  pinpoint  ever  seeing  Jessica  cry.  She  noticed that the hot tea she had given to Jessica earlier was barely touched.
“Jessie,  please  tell  me  what  is  wrong?  You  are  scaring  me  o” Lizzy said as she sat on the bed.
Jessie  smiled  faintly  and  intentionally  digressed.  “Are  you  not sleeping yet?”
“You look famished so I decided to fix   you something. Come on, get up”
Jessie shook her head slowly. “I am not sure I can take anything”
“You don’t have to be sure;  just try. You would feel better after eating”
“I am not sure if I would be better Liz” Jessie blinked severally.
Lizzy was touched deeply, seeing Jessie struggle with threatening tears.  She  dropped  the  food.  “You  can  cry  Jessie,  it  eases  the  pain. Come here” she pulled Jessie into her arms and  Jessica could not hold back her tears any longer. She cried her heart out.
“I  just  want  to  die  Lizzy…”  she  cried.  “I  want  to  die…  Life  is worthless”
“Oh sweetie” Lizzy breathed  almost moved to tears by Jessica’s pain.  It  was  now  that  Lizzy  wished   that  Paulina  was  there.  Paulina would have used her motherly attitude to handle this situation. It was obvious  to  Lizzy  that  Andy  and  Sonia  were  involved  in  whatever  was wrong but she also had a feeling that Jessica had developed feelings for Andy. She knew a woman in love when she saw one.
*****
Andy felt like he was going crazy. He stood up from the bed and sat  on  the  small  chair  in  the  room.  This  was  the  third  time  he  was standing up from the bed after fruitlessly trying to sleep. He had been terribly devastated ever since he dropped off Jessica. He still could not believe that it had all happened so fast. Despite being hungry, he had lost his appetite but his thought that his anger would go down as time went  by  was  totally  wrong   because,  with  each  passing  minute,  his frustration increased a notch. Sleeping  on   the  bed   was  the  worst   part  of   it  all.   He  kept remembering all that he and Jessie had done and shared on the bed; their   intimacy,   laughter,    jokes,   emotional   tears    and   even   their breakfast.  The  masters’   bedroom  held  far  too   many  memories,  all derived from one day, but the joy and fulfillment he felt within twenty four hours had evaporated just like that.
He could not bear to think of the look of betrayal and hurt he saw in her eyes. He sighed and stood up. If he had been told years back that one day, he would care about the feelings of a woman;   he would have  laughed  the  person  to  scorn.  But  here  he  was,  unable  to  sleep because of a woman. He had only been in love once in his life but the experience was too traumatic.
He checked the time  on the wall clock as he entered the sitting room and noticed it was some minutes to three. He had expected that it would be around five or something like that. He sighed and switched on the TV, collapsing on the chair, hoping beyond hope that he would be able to focus on the TV.