MIRRORBALL

Prologue

HI GUYS CREDITS TO THE OWNER OF MY DESCRIPTION!!

I chose the mirrorball because it reminds me of my self. In short, it reflects as me.

I decided to create a story about my life. To be honest, I've done a lot of stories before but it didn't turns out as i expected:<

My inspiration in this story is me of course! But.. i mean, the person who pushed me to do this is my fav artist.

(edited) I think mirrorball is about people who get their personalities by 'mirroring' others. The people pleasing kind, the ones who never got to hear their parents say they're proud of them. The ones who are not talented enough to be exceptional, the ones who study overnight and loses focus because they don't have that mental capacity. The friend who walks behind on the sidewalk, the ones who cry their selves to sleep knowing how much of a stranger they are to everyone including themselves.

DISCLAIMER

This story is about me yes, but i changed some of the situations. I will not going to write my story as in detailed, i will just going to make it ilil accurate to mine okay.. Any characters and events are only my imagination's creation.

credits:?

Naliligaw ako. while i was walking home, i realized that this is what i want. Walking alone while watching those city lights, watching those cars passes by. There's a part of me saying that I shouldn't go home. This is what I want. Peaceful night where you can walk alone, think about your life.

Nakarinig ako ng tunog na nag mumula sa taas. Oh, fireworks. I sat on a bench while i was watching the fireworks alone. I didn't expect na may event pala dito ngayon. While i was watching the fireworks. The memory i had with the person i loved once flashbacks. And I cant help but to add more what if's on my mind. What if nag work kami?

I remember those days where we always planned to have a fireworks date. He knew how much i love fireworks kaya lagi kaming nanonood ng mga fireworks lalo na sa gabi. Malamang. He also knew how much i love counting stars. I always tell him that I can count them all for atleast 5 years, he did believe me and we made a promise to each other. 'In five years, we are going to tell each other how may stars we count.' It's been a year now since the last time i counted the stars with him.

I was looking at the fireworks while smiling. Napangiti ako lalo nang makita ko na nag iba ang hugis ng fireworks at naging hugis puso ito. I was speechless. Why do it's keep coming back when i thought i already forget him? It is my fault though.. I was the one who pushed him. I destroyed him.  I know he hated me now for what i did to him a year ago. But you can't blame me, the more i love him the less i love my self.

I loved him. I really do. But the world is just so cruel. “I stopped loving you.” walang awa kong bigkas. His world turn into black. I can see the pain through his eyes. I am so stupid for making him feel like he is not worth of loving.

No love, i didn't stopped. I stopped loving my self in order to love you.

There's a lot of unspoken words that i've been keeping. I know no one will understand me. Only him. He accepted me with all my insecurities, imperfections, flaws and scars. He knew how much i hated my self, but he made me love my self more, but there's a times that i just couldn't love the way i was designed. I hate the way i look. But he made love my insecurities more. "Stop worrying about your appearance. You are beautiful. I don't care about your looks, you shouldn't be ashamed about your perfect imperfections."

He taught me how to be independent. "Remember this. Nothing is true in those around you but yourself. Everyone will left you someday, even me, that's why i needed you to listen that you only have yourself, so trust yourself, not others nor me." He teach me how to  be independent but still know how to appreciate others. Tinuruan n'ya akong mag isa. he taught me not to depend on others. He taught me how to be strong. But let me tell you this. He is my strength and also my weakness. But guess what? I pushed my strength. Akalain mo 'yon? My strength is already gone but im still here. i managed how to survive without him, without my strength.

Pero kahit anong matatamis na bigkas ng aking isipan, hinding-hindi maalis sa kanyang puso ang mga salitang tumatak na 'di kailan man makakalimutan ng kanyang isipan.

It must hurt to know that i am his beautiful regret.

Maybe.. maybe someday, his heart still stops when he sees me, maybe it's worth another try.. better place.. better time.

Sana kung pwede pa, handa ka na.

I just learned one thing.. Love isn't cruel we are cruel. 'Wag kayong maniwala sa 'tamang tao maling panahon.' no. Ang tamang tao ay darating sa buhay mo sa tamang panahon at tamang oras. Don't rush things..

It's a journey not a race, keep going at your own pace.

"You need to learn one thing Kei. Your freedom lives in your ability to understand that nothing is a certain yet in the uncertainty, you hold the power to create anything."  I smiled. Remembering those deep words that he has been telling me before. What a nice choice of words Kaiden.

He taught me how to be kind to my self, the way you would be to someone you love.

The fireworks stopped. I smiled. Well, ang dami kong naalala. It's still fresh, i thought i already forget about him. Hindi na ata sya maaalis sa sistema ko.

“Do you remember anything sanji kei? the fireworks, the stars?” My body froze.

That voice.. fuck.

Again. I am not a professional writer, natututo pa ako. English isn't my first language so expect me to have a grammatical error.

:>