Another love

Chapter 3

The weather began getting colder as the month went on. My mom still not back from her little "work-trip", it didn't bother me as much as it used to, truth is my life was better when my mother was gone for however long or short. Over the past month I haven't had a lot of interactions with bee and if I did normally Andie would be there. She shared pieces of her life to me which helped me push bee out of my head and pull her into it.
After my month sabbatical, i returned to the gloomy halls of Westfield. A small part of me missed the everyday routine, but the other part of me was terrified that once I'd step back into the halls Bee would engulf me once more and I'd be lost in the anger and sadness all over again. I had just gotten free of her dead grasp. I wasn't looking forward to the stares that were going to be coming my way either. Don't get me wrong I know its sad but I don't really want all they're opinions and why its so sad for them.
I sat in my car until I had to force myself inside. I choose to ignore the stares and murmurs as i walked through the hallways. Even the teachers seemed to be talking about me. I made it to my first class without anyone stopping me to apologize or give me their condolences. About half way through the class there was an announcement.
'Erin Elklin, to the office' at the sound of my name all of the heads turned to face me, there were some ooh's that quickly got shut off by the teacher. I got up grabbing my things heading to the office. I walked through the empty halls, it felt like deja vu.

"Erin," his hearty voice filled my ears, "have a seat kid," I always liked him.

"Is there something wrong Mr. Hayfield?" I felt nervous, like I was about to get in trouble.

"No, I just wanted to let you know, that I care about you kid," his eyes became slightly glossy, "and that I am here, okay," his voiced cracked causing him to clear his throat. Seeing him so upset made my heart hurt. He's had a rough year as well, losing his niece and then eventually a part of me as well. I stopped going to see him, we kept her best self alive for as long as we could, before the ugly got brought in. He has his own set of problems and unfortunately it dragged me down, and everything stopped, the only other person who knew how I felt, left.

"Yeah, noted, thank you," my words fell out of my mouth onto the floor, the bitterness of my tone cut through him. His eyes showed the emotion that he wanted to hold back.

"Look, I know my leaving wasn't the right moment kid, but I was hurting," he was hurting but so was I and the only person that knew bee like I did left me to perish in her memory.

"No," my eyes started to get watery, "you don't get to sit here and tell me that you're back again, I trusted you, you promised," my voice cracked, I could no longer keep the tears back. I left his office in a hurry. Walking fast through the halls, i felt myself being shoved into the lockers, as my body slammed into them pain erupted from my whole left side, making me fall to the ground. I heard a few laughs, looking up, i was met with the same golden brown eyes that I've known for years. A smirk played on her lips as she stood above me.
"So sorry Erin, didn't see you there friend," her tone was a mix of anger and amusement. I chose to leave this battle for now, getting up i pushed past her, now is really not the time for her petty bullshit. I left the building, turning the key in my car and escaping.

I quietly open the back door, I walk into the kitchen and there she is staring at me. She looked upset but it was hard to read exactly how she was feeling. I gave her a small smile, her face hardened into a frown.

"Hi," I squeaked out, I pushed my feelings and tears away.
"Why are you home," by her tone she already knew, i may not be able to read her expressions but her tones are very noticeable.
"I wasn't feeling good,"
"Erin," her face softened, as she stepped towards me. her blue eyes starring at my soul. I felt the world crumble around us, something about her pulled me in. After a long silence she spoke up again "just let me know if you're okay?"
"Will do," I proceeded to my room in a fast manner. I open my door throwing my school bag to the ground and throwing myself on my bed slowly sinking into the soft blankets.
i jolt awake, covered in sweat, the darkness filling my room told me that the sun had gone. I grab my phone.
8:24
5 missed calls : mom
12 messages: mom
I open my phone to call her back. By the second ring she answered.
"ERIN, why didnt you answer your phone, i dont even know, blah blah blah," i honestly didnt listen to the rest of what she said.
"I was sleeping sorry," I mumbled, "what did you call for?" I asked, getting out of bed and heading downstairs.
"Oh, well I ran into an old friend yesterday, and he offered me a job," I think she wanted a congratulations or something nice from me, but all I said was 'oh cool'.
"Are you going to ask what kind of job" no.
"what kind of job" I could feel her roll her eyes behind the phone.
"Since you were so kind to ask," i rolled my eyes, "I would be working with him in the office and help with promotions for the business," she paused long enough for me to cut in.
"So you're not coming home?" my tone was flat, I didn't really care but I had to seem like I did.
"Not for a little while longer kid but i'll be home soon okay," she spoke but something about her tone made me shiver and brought tears to my eyes. She hadn't spoke to me with real emotion in her voice since I was younger, she had put a persona on since her and my father had begun to have noticeable problems. I think a part of me wished she'd continue and have an actual conversation with her but the other part of me hated every second of hearing her voice, wishing that she'd shut up and just end this stupid conversation that could've been a short text instead.
"Yeah, so the usual?" I questioned allowing my mixed emotions to show through my tone.
"Erin, don't," just as quickly as her motherly tone had came, it disappeared faster, "I have to go," there she is, "I'll talk to you later," and with that, she hung up.
Tears blurred my vision, anger clouded my judgement. For a moment and only a moment i allowed myself to feel the years of hurt. I walked out into the backyard, falling to my knees letting the tears spill from my eyes. It felt unfair, it was unfair. She treated me as if I didn't have emotions, she'd tear me down and then claim to have built me back up. I screamed out the last of the emotions, the exhaustion had finally caught up to me, laying me down in the grass. I stared at the stars, they seemed brighter, they were beautiful, but none could compare to the moon. It was full and hung high in the night sky shining a soft glow onto everything, giving a very light a breathy feel. I heard the backdoor open but I was too tired to even get up, but it didn't matter I knew it was her, out of the corner of my eye I saw her lay down next to me.
"Are you okay?" her voice barely above a whisper.
"yeah," a comfortable silence laid over us as we stared at the stars. I looked over at her, her blue eyes lit up with all of the stars as her red hair messily lay in the grass, a small smile played on her lips. She was beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, her features were perfectly placed like a masterpiece. A feeling I haven't felt for months came creeping up my stomach into my throat.
"Beautiful isn't it" i look back to the sky.
"very," she knew I wasn't talking about the sky. We sat in silence once more, i saw her moving, I wanted to stop her from leaving but to my surprise she moved closer to me. I felt her put her head by my shoulder, I froze for a second but relaxed.

"We should go inside," I turn to face her, realizing that our faces were much closer than expected. I felt a pull between, I moved slightly closer but noticed her moving away.
"I think I'll stay out for a bit longer," she nodded, pushing herself up off the ground and walking into the house, I could've swore that she swayed her hips a bit more than usual, but I think I was just being delusional. I stayed outside for a few more minutes taking in the quiet of the night, as well as the beauty of the sky before heading in. I close the back door quietly, the Tv illuminated the once dark hallway and living room. I walk into the living room, I notice Andie balled up in the corner of the couch while solar opposites played. I grabbed a blanket off the recliner, unfolding it and placing it gently over her.
"what?" she said her voice sleepy, not even bothering to open her eyes.
"just go back to bed," she didn't protest much, falling back into sleep. I turned the Tv off making my way up the stairs into my room, plopping myself on my bed and turning on my tv.
I was woken abruptly by a screaming Andie. Half awake I run downstairs, noticing her still sleeping on the couch with the blanket wrapped around her. The little amount of light was enough to see in. As I walked over to her I noticed she was still sleeping, her breathing more erratic. I carefully sat down, watching her movement. She was just whimpers but quickly escalated, some how she stayed asleep.
"please," her voice wavered with fear, "help, why wont you," she started to scream again.
"Andie," I placed hand on he shoulder pulling her into my embrace, "you're dreaming," my shirt became soaked, making me aware that she had woken up. Her body began to shake, as she cried. I just held her.

I woke up on the couch, tangled up in Andie. Her red hair covering parts of her face, her face was relaxed with sleep, she looked so gorgeous. I carefully detangle myself from her, going into the kitchen i start to make breakfast. Shortly after, I heard the TV. Once I finished I popped my head into the living room to let her know that there was food. She was sitting on the couch wrapped up in a blanket, just staring at the TV. Dark circles hung underneath her eyes, which matched the exhausted look. Her blue eyes seemed brighter with the red undertone.
I sat down besides her, watching her carefully.
"I'm fine, you can stop staring at me like that," a small smile played on her lips. 
"Sorry, i just-"
"You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything"  she left and came back with two plates. The rest of the morning there was a silence that coated the air, but not in an uncomfortable way.
I made my way down the hall to the bathroom. I let the warm water consume me, I exhale. A knock at the door startled me, the nob twisted frantically back and fourth.
"Andie ?" I pulled the curtain back.
"Let me in," it wasn't Andie, the nob continue to twist as if whatever was behind the door was struggling against it; "Let me in, Erin," it was her.
"go away," i tried to stay calm as memories hit me like waves in an ocean, I struggled against them until they engulfed me filling up my lungs, my mind. Surrounding me. I was brought to earlier years, just like before. Memories of her, and only her.

"Hey, what are you doing after school," bee came up bumping into me slightly. She already knew the answer.
"I don't wanna do this," she stopped, "I cant keep doing this," she faced me, the swarm of people that once crowded the hallway, gone.
"That's not your line," she opened her mouth widely, "your line is, 'going home probably' to which i respond with 'did you wanna come over'," i turned away from her, walking towards the entrance of the school.
"Let me leave," every step i took towards the double doors, they seemed to be moving further away.
"WHY- Why should i," her voice wavered, "you don't let me," she dropped her eyes to the ground, tears filling them almost spilling out. i lifted her chin with my hand like i had done so many times before. Her face was split, one half was all scuffed with bruises and gashes while the other showed her perfect olive skin glowing in the sunlight. Her eyes also held a different look as well, her deep green pulsed against the sun showing off the brown specks throughout and her other one was full of dread, a dark red ring circled her orb as the deep green was coated with a light film taking away any and all detail.
"I'm so sorry," I softly pressed my lips against hers, possibly for the last time. The smell of strawberries crept its way into my nose as i opened the kiss further.