heaven in the dark. // chanbaek

01

byun baekhyun feels numb. he doesn't exactly know why but it's pretty much the only thing he ever feels these days.

byun baekhyun doesn't experience joy, or sadness, or anger, or fear, or anything at all. he has no hobbies, no dreams, no questions, no desires to do anything, nobody that he particularly cares about.

he isn't dating anyone. sure, he has some friends but no one really close enough to even know anything about him, other than his name and his job, which is basically just helping out at a bookstore. he chooses that job because it's less work and he doesn't really mind the low payment, he leads an overly simple life and has nothing on his to-buy wishlist anyway. he lives in a different city from his family. and though they don't have any grudges, they don't really contact each other that much. he's pretty much a loner at this point.

byun baekhyun often feels like he is just floating through life, merely existing, barely living. so if there's one thing that baekhyun actually wants in this world, it is to feel something. anything, good or bad, whatever.

the closest he has ever come to experiencing any sort of feelings was when a pretty boy regularly visits the bookstore where he works at. baekhyun found himself smiling whenever the pretty boy stopped by and that, the fact that someone could cause him to feel even just a tiny bit of happiness in such a mundane way, made him feel so much more human.

but then one day, the pretty boy didn't stop by anymore, and that was it. baekhyun goes back to his tedious life, where everyday is the exact same, where any feeling except for numbness does not exist.

whatever he was feeling for the pretty customer never got a chance to bloom into a crush, just small waves of happiness that have completely vanished. baekhyun can't even remember how it felt like now.

baekhyun hears that fear is one of the strongest emotions out there, one that can stir up easily and intensely. and so, on his quest to stop existing and start living, he seeks out fear.

he specifically looks up gruesome news and accidents to read about them, hoping they would cause him to feel scared or at the very least, nervous. but none, whatsoever. he looks up the scariest horror movies and makes sure to watch them at night to maximize the viewing experience. still nothing.

he even tries to act recklessly and got himself into some very heated arguments many times. unfortunately, none of them turned into a fight because the way baekhyun argued back with such little effort even managed to bore everyone into walking away from him.

in his latest effort, he is currently on his way to a midnight showing of a horror movie that has just recently come out. he purposefully booked a ticket at an old and run-down cinema, hoping the somewhat abandoned look of it will enhance the supposedly scariness of the movie.

baekhyun arrived early and quickly seated himself in one of the rows that were closer to the screen. as he casually laid back, the dim light from the advertisement on the screen reflected on his face.

baekhyun was sure that he was the only one here tonight. great, hope it'll make it even scarier for him.

what he didn't know is that, baekhyun had walked in too quickly to notice that someone else was also there too. someone in the corner seat, had been staring at him ever since his arrival.