Fight or Flight ( Doctor Who Fanfiction )

Confrontation.

Three Months After.

Rage.

"Omara, oh my god!" Amy's face fell when she saw me, and she reached out for a hug. "What are you doing home so soon? Are you okay? I didn't know you were coming."

I didn't budge when she hugged me, and she retreated awkwardly.

"We're leaving," I spoke levelly and without blinking, a method I had learned straight from my mother. "Myself and my parents."

She had heard these words before. The only difference was that the list used to include Rue. "You're... oh. For how long?"

I just stared at her.

She got the message. "Why?"

"Damage control," I replied. "I can't ruin them if I'm sequestered."

"Well have you talked to your parents about visiting us? Or, I mean, we could visit you. They don't even have to pay for it, I think I've got enough in my savings for - "

I cut her off. "What makes you think I would want to see you?"

She froze mid-sentence, mouth open.

I raised my eyebrows. "Hm?"

"Omara," she sounded out of breath and confused, and almost smiled, hoping it was a joke.

It was not.

"How long did you know?" I asked calmly.

"What?"

"How long did you know she was dead? "

Amy jumped, and her eyes turned huge.

Also like my mother, my patience was a quick-burning resource.

"Omara, we - "

"Don't try to tell me you don't know."

"I wasn't," she soothed. "We knew, okay? We just thought it would be better - "

"Did they tell you that?"

She sighed. "Yes. They did. But that's not why we did it. We talked, and we decided that for once, your parents were right. It was safer if you didn't know until you came home."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "What? What, you had a vote and decided not to tell me my own sister died, so that if I wouldn't embarrass any of you if I caused trouble?"

"No, it wasn't about that!" She looked around desperately. This clearly was not a conversation she was planning to have with me alone. I had disrupted their little plan. "You've been... different. You've been doing things... even Mels is worried about you. This isn't just smoking joints and cutting class anymore. You've been doing things that put people in danger."

"So, it's about Rory."

"No, it's not just about Rory," she stammered, "but if - if it was, then that would be enough on its own. And yeah, I begged your parents to bring you home the minute I heard, but you - you know how they are. They wouldn't do it, they wanted to... put it off. They were scared of what you'd do, but that wasn't why we did it. We wanted you to process with people who love you."

"What, you?" I tore away from your hand when she reached out. "You think you love me? You can look me in the eye and say that what you did was love? "

She shook her head. "I - I'm sorry - "

"No you're not," I sneered. "And if you were, I wouldn't care. You still think you did what's right, and somehow you don't care how fucked up it was."

"We didn't know what else to do!"

"Bullshit!" I laughed, almost maniacal. "That's bullshit, Amelia. You're so worried about covering your own neck, you couldn't possibly admit you were wrong! But you had choices, and I didn't. You have freedom! I don't! "

"That isn't true, 'Mara. You have more choices than any of us, but you aren't making the right ones."

I stared at her from inside my golden cage, and wondered how I couldn't see it before. Of course she didn't understand. Even knowing all that she did, she couldn't understand. No one could ever see past how shiny my cell door was.

My fault, really, to think any of them would be different.

"You really don't know what it's like," I said, lowering my volume for the first time since she opened the door.

I backed away. I couldn't be here anymore. I needed to leave.

"No, I don't, but Rue did," said Amy, and then immediately went quiet.

She didn't have to finish. Her point was obvious: If Rue could do it all, handle it all without screwing everything up, so should I.

Yeah. Rue, the angel; the better of the two daughters. I heard it a million times. In death and in life, everyone was so quick to remind me how much better she was. And I would never say they were wrong. Yet, look where that innate superiority got her: six feet into the cold, hard ground.

"That's enough," I realized, raising my eyebrows. "I've had enough of all of you."

"What is that supposed to mean? All of us?"

"It means that my father was right. It's time for me to move on. To stop fighting it and do what he says. Maybe it was you who kept me from just doing what I was supposed to do, all along. Acting like I had any say in my future. You were always so good at pretending."

Amy stared at me as knife after knife sunk in, her face falling further and further into bereft horror. "How can you say all of that? "

"Rejoice, Amelia," I snarled. "This is what she would do. Play by the rules, stop making waves. That's what everyone wants. After all, following orders worked out so fucking well for my baby sister. "

"Omara!" Amy shouted when I turned away, voice bordering on a scream.

I could hear the fear underneath her anger.

We had fought before, both making plenty of vague threats, but this was different. There was a finality to this. The sound of an airhorn to signal that the fighting was over. An audience's morbid applause at the end of a tragedy.

"You can't just forget about us, Omara!" She cried.

I turned around and stalked forwards. I couldn't think through the smokeless fire that burned every inch of my body.

Amy shrank back as I approached.

"It's easy, actually. You want to see?" I stepped over the threshold and grabbed the handle of the front door, and then in one swift movement, slammed the door in her face, shutting her inside. I was gone before she could get it back open.