Something I've never understood is how people can love so easily.
How they can look up,
With such adoration in their eyes,
At another human being.
I could never understand how someone's heart could twist,
Their stomachs could turn,
Butterflies in their intestines, beating at the heart they patch up after every relationship.
I could never understand the ways people would describe such feeling.
The warmth in your chest,
Does it not feel like it is on fire?
Like you will burn alive?
The butterflies in your stomach,
Do they not turn into wasps?
Do they not sting your guts?
And when I lay awake at night,
Thinking about this,
This phenomenon of a feeling that will never feel real,
I wonder if everyone is just as confused as I am.
I wonder if people lay awake, unable to see the difference of a wasp and a butterfly.
A warm fire and burning at the stake.
I will never know if anyone would feel the same.
I will never know what love feels like.
I will never understand what that is, I don't think.
But when I sleep at night, I like to imagine it.
I like to imagine someone holding me close,
While I feel nothing at all.
They wouldn't know that, of course,
Because as long as I pick the right words,
Covered in honey and gold linings,
They will never notice,
That I will never know if this is real.
I will never know if I truly feel my heart skip beats when you kiss me,
Because my cold heart was never beating to begin with.
It was never warm, or capable of love to begin with.
And I'm sorry you are so gullible to believe I was ever capable of loving you that way.
