"OH MY GOD!!!" Billie screamed in an instant upon hearing what I told them. Ellie and I had no other choice but to cover our ears for a while. "I'm so sorry! I got so excited." she immediately apologized and put some chips in her mouth.
"Akala ko ba ate ang tawag nya sayo?" Ellie, who's 3 years younger than me asked. Yeah, she sometimes acts like she's the oldest one here—I couldn't deny the fact that I learn a lot of things from her. Her mindset is just so sexy!
"Yun na nga! Yun din ang akala ko eh. So, imagine yung pagkagulat ko nung narinig ko siyang sabihin 'yon."
"Hmm. Bakit biglang Gracia na nga lang ba?" she even raised her brow at me as if everything was just getting suspicious.
"You know what? I am not that used to people calling me Gracia. Sure, it's still beautiful since it's my name. Pero alam niyo yun? Shai is what I prefer"
"Isn't it cute? Siya lang yung natawag nun sa'yo."
"Billie, you're not a help!" I answered back in an instant which made both of them laugh.
If one could describe what is inseparability, that would be me, Billie, and Elizabeth. We have been together since we were kids and know everything about each other—our little secrets, the one we hate the most, who was our high school crush, and even those guys who broke our hearts for the first time.
It is truly a good thing to have your closest cousins by your side. But maybe not this time. They've been telling me ridiculous things.
Me? Having a crush on Hakim?
"How did you respond to that?" Billie asked one more time.
"I just... smiled?" I said, unsure. Billie and Ellie just looked at each other as if they weren't believing me. I rolled my eyes upon watching their reaction.
"Paano nga ulit kayo nagkakilala ni Kuya Hakim?"
"Nevermind"
"Why? All you have to do is to tell us"
"And you two would tease me more?"
"Ate, we know how and when to be serious naman!"
Left with no choice, I started telling them things about us. "Well, you know, Jaz and I met each other in 2nd grade. We became friends and we used to hang out every after classes sometimes. She was a transferee back then. Tapos nung nag-3rd grade na, I was looking for her in our wide classroom pero there was no Jaz. That was the only time I realized na she transferred school again."
"I remember that part but not that vivid in my memories," Billie commented.
"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I mentioned it to you. Tapos ayun na, the year 2017, nameet ni mommy yung mama nina Jaz. Through Lola Daisy, remember? Sa side ni daddy. Mommy told me to befriend her friend's daughter daw. But it was the year 2018 na nung nagkita kami. Summer. Outing with family and friends."
"Oooh! Have I mentioned ba na I love stories na summer ang setting?" Ellie said.
Well, I guess, we are the same, Ellie.
"I was kinda surprised because Mommy's friend's daughter is the one I was looking for when I was in 3rd grade. I find it cute. That's just so destiny thing, I guess?" they both nodded as if they were still waiting for my continuation. "Hindi pa din maalala ni Jaz na we were friends way back in our elementary days though! Ayun, that's when I met Hakim. I learned that we are the same age but I am just one year ahead of him sa school since pumasok ako ng maaga. Kaya yes, ate ang tawag nya sakin."
"He just called you Gracia" Billie retorted.
"A while ago" Ellie, with a smile butted in.
"GIRLS!" I screamed a little, doesn't really know what to say anymore.
"Right. One year older nga pala kami ni Jaz sa'yo" Billie said. I pouted my lips upon finishing my story.
"That's it?" she wondered. My brows furrowed a little by looking at her as if I am the one who was questioning her this time. "I mean, what was your first impression of him? What did you think about Hakim?"
"I couldn't remember well." I even looked above as if I was trying to reminisce about the time we met at the beach for the first time. "He was fun. He was with me and his sister throughout that day and I witnessed how he jokes around with his mom. That's it."
"You don't find him gwapo?" Ellie even slightly pushed me upon saying those words. I just smiled as a response before answering her.
"I know naman na he's gwapo the first day I met him. But, hanggang dun lang yun. After that, hindi ko na sya napansin more than seeing his looks."
"Saka, you have that someone who shall not be named diba? I mean, at that time."
"Tumpak!"
"Ah yung isa ding gago? Si gago number 2 kasi gago number 1 yung sa'yo, Ate Billie?" Ellie was so straightforward with this that we all ended up laughing together for quite some time.
"So, inaamin mo na ba samin na crush mo si Hakim?"
"HELL NO!" I stood up upon answering Billie. Just when I thought we were already done with that topic.
"You know what, Shai, the moment na tinanong mo ang sarili mo about him, may sagot na dun. Alam mo na kung bakit. You are just... kind of scared to admit it" suddenly, the atmosphere became serious and I didn't know how to respond to what Billie had said.
I unintentionally heaved a sigh and lean my back on the wall.
"That is... somehow true." I was not looking at them when I said this. "Ang cute lang kasi lagi kong napapanuod at nababasa yung ganito. I mean, having a crush on your friend's sibling. But I never expected na mafefeel ko siya. Parang ang sudden? I was questioning myself kasi... I've known Hakim for 4 years in my life. Back then, wala naman akong pakealam kung maka-achieve siya ng award sa acads man 'yan o sa sports. Wala akong pakealam kung may marinig akong nalilinked sa kanyang babae. For 4 years, he was just... Jaz' Hakim. He was my best friend's brother."
"And now?" Ellie's question was almost a whisper and this time, I was finally looking at them both.
"Now, he's Hakim... I am starting to see him just like him. Yung hindi kapatid ng best friend ko. Yung hindi halos kapitbahay ko. He's just Hakim. Which is... I'm a little afraid of."
"Afraid kasi?"
"Kasi ayokong mafeel yung ganito. Maybe it was so fine kung magkakacrush ako sa taong iba sakin? Sa taong hindi related sa best friend ko?" I sipped from my coffee upon answering Billie. Both of them kept on silent until Billie lighten the mood.
"Akala ko ba hindi mo crush?" her question made me stop.
Hindi nga. Lamig lang siguro 'to. Tama, lamig. Tutal January pa lang naman ngayon. Also, we are still amidst the pandemic. Hindi ako nakakalabas maliban sa bahay. Online lang ang classes ko. Tama. Pag nakakita ako ng ibang tao, I'm pretty sure Hakim would just be nothing to me at all.
🌸💫💗
Dear Shai,
It all started in November 2021 when you often see each other. Maybe that was the only reason why you were so confused right now. Maybe you would eventually get over this once another semester would start and you would have a chance to see your friends again.
And maybe it was late December when you start feeling different towards him... You started to notice him. You started to appreciate him—by seeing him doing his usual things. And maybe it was this little talk that was starting to build between you two.
It was these things that make you puzzled. It was these things that makes you realize that something was going on within you.
So, as early as it could be, you were trying—no. I mean, you were doing your best to stop this feeling.
Having a crush is normal. But for me, having a crush on your best friend's brother is complicated.
It is indeed always the unexpected one and yet, I'm pretty sure it would lead me to another heartbreak.
Kaya ngayon, iiwas na tayo.
— Shai
YOU ARE READING
Right Next To You
RomantikWhat happens when you suddenly realize you have a crush on your best friend's brother? Would that build an awkward atmosphere between you two? Or would that make your best friend happy? In the case of Shai, it seemed that she woke up one morning and...
