THE DAY I DECIDED I WOULD NEVER CRY AGAIN

THE PAIN

As i slowly undressed remembering his touch the warm cold hands that always embraced me,the feeling and emotions that feeled our bodies . I walked towards the tap in a moderate manner  and turned it on , my legs dipped into the blazing hot water , i did not mind the pain though it felt like my skin was pilling of its body due to the heat , i sat down in tub , the trauma , i couldnot handle all of it , my tears running down my face uncontrollably and neither did i try to stop them , i could not take it , the grieve was too much to handle as i remembered his sweet smile , his hand on my hand his warm embrace , his lips as they gently pressed on my lips , the feeling of the his tongue and the warmness of his saliva folding to embrace my mouth and then the terrifying memory came to disturb the perfect feeling of how he protected me and used his body as a shield when we had a car crush and when he said the most beautiful words to me in a slow low pitch voice "i love you"" he said them while hugging me , blood covering his body and hands , his body cold in my hands , lifeless , as the screem of his name came out of me ,i suddenly could not take it anymore , i slowly deeped my self in the hot water which felt like freezing cold to me , my body inside the water , i struggled to find air under the water , then i relaxed and closed my eyes , seeing his face as the oxygen bubbles slowly decreased to the decrease in the rhythm of my breathing , his hands held out to me , as i started humming our song in my mind how do you , how do you love like this , Wait a minute how do you, how do you love like this i slowly let my self go with a smile on my face under the water , THAT IS THE DAY I DECIDED I WOULD NEVER CRY AGAIN because i will be with him soon , even if its in the after life .