Torn in two

Chapter 25

I didn't know what to do.
I couldn't just sit around and wait for Greg to come home.
I didn't want to be anywhere near Zak right now.
But I needed to figure this out.
I had so many questions.
Neither Greg nor Zak gave me the answers I deserved.
I wasn't sure my placement in any of this.
Did Greg know Zak was a cop?
Did Zak know Greg was my brother before we even met?
I was aware Diego knew.
Has Diego told Cindy?
No. She would have told me.
We don't have secrets.
But this was now my first one.
I couldn't drag her into this shit show.
She was slipping at the ledge of the cliff, while I was already free falling.
I didn't know who was going to catch me or if I was even going to be caught.
I realized I drove to the spot at the beach from the other night.
My chest ached knowing this date was probably a lie.
It was all a lie.
I sat in the sand underneath the pier leaning against the wooden pole.
I watch the waves repeatedly curl onto the shore and become sucked back into the giant abyss.
I wish I had Mama to talk to.
She would know what to do.
A tear slipped down my cheek.
I missed her hugs the most.
I longed to be comforted by her once more. My safe place. My home.
"Mama, Greg messed up big time," I shakily whisper at the sea.
"I don't know how to help him," I continue faintly.
Another tear leaks down my face.
Greg was always the more calculated one.
He logically made the right choices. Through high school, following him to college.
Joining the mafia just seems counter productive.
And for what? 
A loan to open a night club?
Was it really worth losing everything?
The Miami police department knows of Greg.
He's already lost.
I could warn him.
He still has time to run away. Far away.
We have family in Mexico he could stay with.
He could live out his life there instead of behind bars.
Maybe I'd follow too.
I let out a breath of strangled air.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the wood.
The waves attempt to soothe my soul.
I could practically feel the hole that has formed.
The edges further spreading open and now fester from the prolonged damage since my parents death.
"Mama," I croak.
"Please give me a sign," I plead.
Silence all but the waves.
Not even voices above the pier.
Not even squawks from seagulls demanding for food on the boardwalk.
Just me and the sea.
I didn't know how much time has passed.
I foolishly left my phone in the car but I needed to be alone.
Alone with my thoughts.
A thousand racing thoughts.
The sun was now casting over the ocean, no longer directly above the pier.
I know a couple hours must have passed.
Just a few more minutes before I face reality once again.
"Hey," a gentle voice says from next to me.
I jump, so engrossed in the waves I didn't realize someone came up beside me.
I turn towards to face them.