Various Murder Drones Oneshots

Uzi's First Halloween

Uzi walked down the metal corridors of the structure that housed just about every worker drone to exist- including her, but not including the remnants of ones who hadn't survived the cut-throat world outside. Her boots clanked against the metal plates making up the floor, but it was mysteriously joined by a rattling noise above. Instinctively, Uzi froze, only to find the rattling still continued despite her stopping. Her hand wandered to the railgun she kept on her person at all times. Her internal motors clicked in her ears.

Suddenly, after an eerie silence, a final rattle rang out right above her head and a figure dropped down in front of her. 

"OH ROBO JESUS!" Uzi cried just before she lost her footing, causing her to crash to the floor on her rear and simultaneously drop her railgun. It spun across the floor away from her.

A dark shadowy figure loomed before her with creepy wings outstretched at either side, blocking the hallway out. A yellow 'X' glowed in the dim, only before it flickered to a pair of yellow pupils. A murder drone. "Oh biscuits, that looked like quite the fall. Are you okay, Uzi?" he suddenly asked, his friendly tone immediately taking out any intimidation he had managed before.

Uzi grimaced in embarrassment for having been startled so badly. "I'm fine. But don't scare me like that again, N! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Oh, whoops, sorry about that!" N apologized, folding his wings into his body neatly and rubbing the back of his head in a sheepish manner. "You know I can't help myself at this time of year."

The worker drone girl rose one of her purple brows displayed on her face screen. "And what time of year is that?" she asked plainly, picking herself up off the floor and dusting herself off. Then she picked up her railgun again too.

N blinked. "Don't you know? It's getting to that time of the year where the planet wide death storm gets even more inhospitable."

"And...?" Uzi urged him. "Just please get to the point, N."

"It's just about time for Halloween!" N exclaimed cheerfully. Uzi blinked, arms crossed over her chest, her unamused expression unwavering. N suddenly looked confused. "Wait, hold on, do you... really not know what Halloween is?"

"No...?" the worker drone slowly responded. "I've been cooped up in this metal facility nearly my whole life, bite me." As she continued down the hall, her murder drone acquaintance-friend came up beside her with a little skip in his step. His tail waved a bit in the air behind them in his excitement, and Uzi was acutely aware that at any moment she might have to dodge its deadly tip.

"Oh, it's great. You'll love it!" N told her eagerly. "It was a human tradition, buuuut us disassembly drones decided to take it up ourselves. Just for the fun of it." His hands began gesturing with his words as he began diving into explanation, "Basically, Halloween is once every 365 days where you can play tricks on your friends and enjoy all the treats you can eat!"

Uzi gave him an unamused risen brow look at that. "What kind of treats can you get all the way out here?" Still wearing an innocent smile, N's eyes flickered back to a menacing letter 'X' shape for a moment again. As he opened his sharp toothed mouth to respond, Uzi quickly waved her hand around. "Actually, I don't want to know," she insisted. N's normal eyes returned again.

"It's a fun tradition that humans used to have for thousands of years," N continued as if nothing had happened. He laughed a little. "Apparently people would dress up as various things for the occasion too, isn't that fascinating?"

"You find everything fascinating," Uzi responded flatly.

"Well, I do like doing anything," N agreed with a good natured shrug. He hopped a little on his feet, moving to block Uzi's path. She stopped sharply to avoid running into him. "You should join in celebrating it this year!" He suggested eagerly before his energy suddenly damped. "V and J aren't as enthused about it all as I am... they told me to stop bothering them about it and threatened that I won't get fresh oil for a week if I bring it up with them again..." N looked down at his feet dejectedly.

Uzi groaned loudly and rolled her eyes, gaining N's attention again. "Okay, fine, we can do this Halloween thing," she agreed.

"Thanks Uzi, you're the best!" N chirped, brightening immediately again.

"Yeah, yeah, don't mention it," Uzi said. "Like seriously, do not mention it to my dad; he will lose it if he even finds out you're in here." N made a zipper motion across his mouth.

The two proceeded to sneak through the main corridors of the facility, dodging the eyes of the worker drones around them until Uzi stopped before a door. She opened it a crack, peered in, then nodded to herself. She swung the door open and turned to N. "Get inside quick before anyone sees you," she instructed. N quickly did just that.

As Uzi shut the door behind them, N began looking around the living quarters they were in. "Is this your house?" he asked.

"Yep, this is it," Uzi answered.

N moved around from appliance to appliance, moving with a surprising amount of grace around the furniture. "Awesome. Are all worker drone homes like this? It's so cramped and homey!" he asked, looking thoroughly entertained.

"Hey, N, focus," the beanie-wearing worker drone told him, snapping her fingers a couple times to get his attention. "We don't have a lot of time before my dad is back from his work for the day. So, lay out this whole Halloween deal on me quick."

N set a couple chunks of metal on the table. "What are those for?" Uzi asked, looking bewildered.

"For carving!" N chirped. "Humans used to use pumpkins for the occasion... but we... don't have pumpkins. This is close enough instead!"

Uzi considered the fair sized chunk of metal for a moment, then she looked at N. "Think I could use my railgun to carve it?"

"Probably!" N agreed heartily. A wicked grin spread over Uzi's face. Soon the two drones were taking chunks out of the metal; N with his sharp bladed fingers made for piercing metal and Uzi with vicious blasts of her railgun. In the end, neither had their chunks of metal look like much of anything, although Uzi looked much more enthused now than she had been before.

"That was actually kind of fun. What else do you got?" she asked.

"Ooh, I'm excited to show you this one... I think you will be impressed by it," N figured as he reached into one of his jacket pockets.

Uzi watched as he pulled out a flat, flimsy, scratched up object. "A disc?" she asked.

"Not any ordinary disc! This has a Halloween movie on it from when humans were still around on this planet!" N explained excitedly.

The girl looked surprised. "That is actually pretty cool," she admitted at last. N beamed, as if his expression brightening any more was physically possible. 

The duo sat down on the floor in front of a disc player, watching the machine struggle to read the disc they had put in. Finally however, the screen flickered before a moving image of some humans in costume came on screen. Uzi stared at the screen. "Do you think there are more of these on Earth?" she mused.

N nodded. "Oh, yeah. I'm sure there are tons!"

The two watched in quiet interest and bewilderment as the movie shakily went on, the pair trying to follow along with the strange plot and the over the top effects. When the credits rolled, Uzi's face screen lit up with a reminder and a chirp to accompany it, before she lightly slapped her face to make it go away. "We're running out of time. Anything else that we do for this weird human celebration?"

N tapped his chin. "Well, there is the whole trick or treating part, but I can't go around without causing problems for you and V and J... and the treat part..." He trailed off, looking at Uzi's uneasily. "Uhhhh, that's... probably not going to work with you."

"Right..." Uzi replied slowly. "Either way, this honestly was... kinda fun. Unexpectedly..."

N's face lit up. "Does that mean you want to do it again next year?"

Uzi smiled. "Eh, why not? I could sit through doing this all again."

"And next time, we might be able to actually do some tricking too!" N added.

A mischievous smile spread over Uzi's face. "Oh, I already know some worker drones I would love to get back at..." she mused, which escalated into her laughing maniacally. Despite it having just ended, already Uzi couldn't help but be excited for next Halloween.