The Buffalo Grass

I thought I'd lost her, I thought after seeing her that last time I would never see her again. I was wrong. I thought about her all the time, where she was, what she was doing. It wasn't until I talked to some people who knew her that I found out where she was. They were reluctant to tell me, until I assured them that I loved her and I wanted to make things right between us. It was a long drive from my family's home in Minnesota to Wyoming, but I never made the trip. 

I moved on with my life without him. School, my daughter, work, were the most important things in my life. Being a single Mom, going to school for my BS in Nursing, plus working was tough, but at least it kept me busy and focused. The little girl snuggled up on the floor with the dogs means everything in the world to me. Everyday she resembles Lonnie more and more, reminding me of a time when for a brief moment life was perfect.  

Having her changed my life, I was going down a path that was destructive, and one I probably would not have came out of. She changed everything, even though Lonnie never knew about her. She was my secret, one I was hell-bent to keep that way. I was happily sharing a house with my best friend Sara, our two dogs, Moose and Kirby, my daughter, Lakota, and Jon, the guy who currently had my heart in his hands, things couldn't be better.

Jon and Sara were at class the day I came home early from work feeling ill. I picked Lakota up from daycare, much to the surprise of the teacher, who was used to Jon or Sara picking her up.

"MOMMY!" A tall, dark haired little girl ran up to me, wrapping her arms around my leg.

I laughed as I rumpled her hair, "Hey ya sweetheart, how was school today?" My voice sounds tired even to my own ears. Denise, the teacher of Lakota's class walks up to me, the look on her face tells me something is up.

"Miss Redelk can I talk to you for a moment? It's about Lakota." Her voice sounded concerned, I could only wonder what my three-year-old hellion did now.

Lakota has the intelligence of Lonnie and I both, being able to speak clearly in two languages by the time she was two, my curiosity, everything and anything is fair game, Lonnie's way with animals, his calm demeanor mixed with my fire and vinegar personality, and the gift, more so than Lonnie and I put together. God only knew what Lakota had gotten herself into now.

I slowly squat down to my daughter's level, getting her full attention. Her deep hazel eyes look into my own, her face full of concern, she knows she's in trouble.

"Kota, go play for a little while so I can talk to Miss Jenkins ok?" My daughter nods, running off to stick her little hands in the Play-Doh.

Denise becomes serious as I follow her into the office. "Angie, I had some trouble with Lakota today, she seemed distracted and when I asked her what it was she couldn't tell me. Later on I found her drawing this." She takes a piece of construction paper out of her desk drawer, handing it to me. One look and I have a pretty damn good idea what happened today.

"Do you know what it means? I can't for the life of me figure it out. Maybe I just don't understand, but it does frighten me." Denise's voice trembles as she speaks, but for someone who doesn't know or understand it would be a frightening thing to see a child draw.

I take a deep breath and nod, "It's a Red Tail Hawk feather with clouds over it, eyes within the clouds. It's a Sioux bedtime story, one I'm sure my father told her. It means that someone who's passed away is watching her and protecting her, although I'm not quite sure whom. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, but I assure you it's nothing to be afraid of." I fold the picture, carefully tucking it in the thigh pocket of my BDU pants.

"Well, I was sure you would know what it was, I was just hoping it wasn't anything bad. I take it you'll talk with her tonight about it?" I nod my head as I walk out the office door.