Hatred

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I hate not taking picture of us 

and I hate not going to parties 

I feel lost and tired and sad 

and I've been for a long time 


I hate missing you even tho I shouldn't 

and I hate thinking that you hate me 

cause it's all just wrong 

just really fucking wrong 


I hate seeing you be happy 

and I hate that it's not thanks to me 

my dream was to give you everything 

and you took it without realising

 I hate feeling this numb 

and I hate not telling you 

how stupid this all is in the end 

how I wish that we could go back in time


 I hate being this lonely 

and I hate how none of you cares 

at least that's what I believe 

I'm not asking how are you either


i hate that I'm not as smart, as naïve and bright

and I hate not knowing if little me would be proud

her head was full of stars and fireworks

but mine is left full of terrors


I hate not being as hopeful 

and I hate that helpless feeling in my soul 

I hate hating you and I hate all of this 

what if it was just me ? god I hate myself

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