Short Stories

Faults - Part One

 "It's not your fault."

That was what I kept telling myself over and over.

"There was nothing you could have done to save him."

I knew I was lying to myself, but I kept trying to assure myself anyways. I held a black leather jacket in my hands like glass that would break with one wrong touch. Tears welled up in my eyes, and my lip quivered. I blinked away the hot tears and shook my head; I'd refused to cry over him since it happened.

Getting up off the bed, I carefully set the jacket in its place and left for the kitchen. I opened the cupboards to look for something to eat. They were all empty, except for a few spices and other things you can't eat. It's not like I was going to eat, anyways. I headed back to my room and looked at myself in the mirror.

God, I look like a mess.

My hair was unbrushed. The circles under my eyes were getting darker by the day. My eyes looked empty; they were the eyes of somebody with nothing to live for. The more I looked at myself, the angrier I became.

"It should have been you!" I yelled at my reflection. "Not them! IT'S YOUR FAULT THEY'RE DEAD!" My face looked back at me, seeming to taunt me. This is what Kak and Pol died for? Is that really all you've got?

"YOU KILLED THEM! YOU KILLED YOUR BEST FRIEND, AND YOU KILLED YOUR FIANCÉ!" I screamed and punched the mirror. Big cracks started to slither their way across the glass until it shattered. I crumpled to the floor and touched my face. I didn't know I was crying, but I was too exhausted to get mad over it.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed. For the first time since Polnareff and Kakyoin died, I cried. "Fuck, why couldn't it have been me?"

I fell asleep later that night on the floor. I couldn't get up from the carpet. I woke up to find cuts all over my body from the mirror I'd broken. I should check up on Jotaro. I hope he and his mom have been doing okay since he came home.

I got up and picked my phone up from my bed. I dialed Jotaro and hoped he'd pick up. He was my distraction.

"Yare yare, what do you want, Kurisu?"

I fumbled with the phone and started fidgeting with the edge of my shirt. "Hi, it's nice to talk to you, too. I just wanted to check up on you two. How have things been since you got back?"

"Girls are irritating as hell."

"Mm. I assumed as much. What's those girls' problem, anyway?"

"Why would I know?"

"You're the one they follow." I took a breath. "How's your mom been?"

"She's still an annoying bitch."

"Good to know nothing's changed."

"Yare yare, daze."

"Yeah, yeah. "Good grief," at me all you want. It still doesn't change the fact that your mother cares, and you care for her too."

"I'm surprised you're not dead yet."

Yeah, yet. "Ha, ha. You're so funny. I'll have you know that I've been holding up on my own just fine, no thanks to you guys."

"The fact that you called me at four in the morning says you're not."

I checked the time on my clock. "Huh. I guess I didn't realize it was so early. Did I wake you up?"

"It wouldn't matter because you would have called me later and woken me up anyways."

"Oh, I guess you're right, then."