Truly, Madly, Deeply

Little Thoughts

The pulses of pain that ran through my brain were almost unbearable. Almost. Just the sound of my breathing seemed to echo around the room and the sunrays that barely creeped through the curtains burned my eye balls. I hate hangovers. Granted that I'm not used to them. I mean I get drunk sometimes but not like this.

Ugh, just thinking hurt my brain.

My head lolled to one side where my hand was outstretched. It was bad enough the light was pouring in but now something on my hand was glaring back at me. My body moved to the source to observe.

Right there on my right hand's ring finger was a pretty blue stone that dazzled in the sun. I admired the way it left blue lights against the wall as I twisted and turned my hand. I giggled at the new jewelry... well that is until I remembered who I got it from.

Flashes of Zayn smiling, apologizing, and also looking nervous appeared in my head. I still didn't fully understand why he was nervous. I was a little suspicious as to what he was going to ask me. I was almost sure that he possibly was going to ask me to be his girlfriend again.

I mean don't get me wrong, I love Zayn and I think I always will but... after all this time apart I've had sometime to think. Every time I thought about our relationship the only things I would remember was yelling and throwing stuff just to end up in bed at the end of the night. It was a vicious cycle that I used to crave but in the last months before we ended things I was always dreading to come back to the flat. We had just grown apart even though we were always together. I started to suspect that he was sleeping with another woman but Zayn would never do that. Never.

So although our break up broke me, it was like a massive burden was lifted from my shoulders. I had all this newfound freedom. It killed me not to come home to him, though. I think that's was really broke me was being so alone when I came to the flat and not seeing a face that I adored for the past almost two years.

I really don't know what my answer would be if I agreed to be his girlfriend again. My brain attempted to remove Zayn's presence from my thoughts cause I knew I was getting my hopes up. I mean, he was the one to rid me from his life. There was no way in hell that he has going pop that question.

I tried to think of something else so my foggy mind focused on the cool metal around my neck. My hand grasped the new accessory. I finally fliped over onto my stomach which gave my heachache a different sort of pang. I stared at the metal paper airplane that was identical to Harry's.

Speaking of Harry... where the hell was he? We'd been sleeping in the same bed ever since Zayn broke things off. To force myself to stop thinking of Zayn, I tried to concentrate on Harry. He was safe to think about I mean we're best friends. So I tried to think of what happened.

I got a flash of Zayn grabbing my boobs for support but oddy, I felt there was a bigger matter at hand. While fiddling with my necklace, I started to remember little things about last night.

Harry's forgein emotions that confused me and how he looked uncomfortable. hmm, weird because we were so chill around eachother. With a sudden sharp pain, every memory from last night flooded my mind.

Of course. I remember the feeling of Harry beneath me because he pulled me down to his level after I had beaten him at a drinking game. Sore loser. The image of Harry licking his lips as he stared at mine made me shiver.

We had almost kissed.

And the worst part is that I had leaned in too. Does that mean I want to kiss Harry? I had always thought of him as a baby. My little cupcake. But now as I thought of my best friend, all I could think of was those bright pink lips that puckered when he talked. I thought of his tall physique. The way his shoulders rippled when he lifted something. His large rough hands that were so tender with anything.