I found myself looking over at him in lunch. I would get lost in his eyes when we spoke. My heart would race when I was around him. I'm not catching feelings. . . Or am I? Is this what true love feels like? Would he even like me back? These were all thoughts I had back then. I still have them to this day. For privacy reasons I will use the name he uses online. His name is Rex. Oh how I wish to be his. For his "I love you" to be more than a joke. To always call him my darling. To be in his arms. To hold his hand as we walk together. It could only be a fantasy that I believe could be true. This is a love story about falling in love. Giving him so much just for it to be nothing but me being friendly. He was my darling. My lover. Someone I could never have. I keep thinking of him as I slowly drift to sleep. Rex my beloved. If you see this. . . I love you with all my heart.
I wish it could have all gone better. That he didn't only want my body but instead wanted me as a person. What a world we live in. I went through all this just for his love. Will I ever get my happiness back? Will he ever return the love I gave to him? I wish I knew. . .
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Everything I Did For His Love
RomanceI did so much for his love. He would call me cute. He would say he loved me. It was all a sick joke. A joke on me. I felt like a fucking fool. I did everything for his love. I turns out it was just another stupid belief. Who would ever love me?
