Comfort

Part One

1982

Roger collapsed on his bed, completely drained from Queen's gig. He had played countless shows, but none were as tiring as this one. He barely had gotten any sleep the past two nights, he was severely jet-lagged, and was in need of a stiff drink.

Brian followed Roger into the room they were sharing, as they agreed to pair up for this tour. Like Roger, Brian was tired as well. He just didn't feel like he was going to die. He sat on the edge of his bed, taking off his shoes and his white button-down. He looked over at his friend, who was now curled up in a ball, his back to Brian.

Brian stood up and looked through his suitcase before he found a clean t-shirt and pair of boxers before heading towards the bathroom. He stopped by Roger's bed to gently pat the drummer's knee. "You'll be alright, Rog, don't worry."

Roger simply nodded, staring at a tiny crack in the wall, his mind racing to try and stay awake. He didn't notice Brian close the bathroom door, and he didn't hear the shower start. The only thing he heard was the heartbeat in his head, and his thoughts bouncing around like tennis balls. All in all, if you couldn't already tell, Roger was not in a good state.

Two nights ago, Roger had a nightmare. And this wasn't just any nightmare, y'know, monsters, sharks and werewolves. He had a dream about horrible things happening to people he cared deeply about, while he had to sit and watch the whole thing. Now, normally things like this wouldn't bother Roger. He would go back to sleep, a bit shaken, but he knew that everything that happened wasn't real; he had just made it up in his mind. This dream was different, though. The majority of the cruel things happened to Brian.

All that Brian had to go through in Roger's dream was simply too much for the blonde to handle. Brian was his best friend, his confidant, the one who kept him steady. Roger, though, felt a little something more for his older friend, something that he didn't want to come to terms with- until now.

Since he had the nightmare, all Roger could think about was how he felt about Brian. He saw him as much more than just a friend, more than a person to have a drink with, more than a guy who was in the same band as him. He didn't just admire Brian, he adored him. The nightmare made Roger wonder what he would do if something happened to Brian.

Now, you may be thinking, 'If Roger likes Brian, then why doesn't he do anything about it?' And your question is legitimate. There were just a few things that got in Roger's way.

One was the fact that Brian was a happily married man. Roger, also, had a girlfriend. He cared about Dominique, of course, but he found that whenever he thought of her, his thoughts wandered back to Brian and refused to return to Dominique.

Second was Roger's nerve. He never usually thought his actions through; he lived a lot of his life not worrying about the consequences of what he did. This has gotten him into trouble more than a few times, but did he ever care? No. So why did he care now? Because he was now thinking of all the people he could hurt if he told or even hinted about having feelings for Brian.

Third, he wasn't even sure what these feelings were. Perhaps it was just a wanting, a craving, for what he couldn't have. Maybe he just wanted Brian for one night, like he was just another groupie. Roger tried to dismiss it as being only that. But there was this nagging voice that told him otherwise. It told him that it was much more than that.

And what's not to like about Brian? He was always kind and caring to Roger, he took care of him, looked out for him, brought him home when he was drunk. Wherever Roger was, Brian wasn't too far behind, just watching his friend's back to make sure he stayed safe. There were over ten years worth of memories between the two, memories that Roger wouldn't soon forget. Little things, too, like the time about a year ago, when Roger first realized these feelings.