Child of the leaf (Obikaka)

3. I want this to end

       - The next day after Kakashi went too the training grounds training by himself bcuz I'm lazy like that -

        - Kakashi POV -

      As I'm in the training grounds, constantly think about how it was my fault that he died..about how I could've prevented it by not being so GODDAMN
STUPID! I feel a rush of anger, power, remorse wash over my body and I hate it. I hate it so, SO much. I turn away from the training equipment and facing a tree. I close my eyes and I feel like I'm there again, at the last place our eyes met.. The ones who pushed the boulder down. I Strike. I hear a crash and someone gasp from behind me. I open my eyes and see a tree on the ground. Standing there for a few seconds to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Then, I turned around to see Minato and Rin both eyes wide and mouths slightly open. The air is thick between us and nobody knows what to say until I speak up.
"When..did you guys get here?" I asked pretty quietly but enough for them to hear me.

"Kakashi..Is this what you've been bottling up..That much..?" Minato asks me, voice cracking at the end.

"I'm not bottling anything up. I'm fine."

"No you aren't."

"I am"

"You can not convince me that you are okay!"

"I am FINE sensei"

"Kakashi!"

"I SAID IM FINE"

...

The air felt like titanium at this point. Rin looked like she was about to cry.

"I'M SERIOUS. I-ITS NOT LIKE I-I-I CRY SO HARD I THROW UP! ITS NOT LIKE, I-I THINK ABOUT WHAT I COULD HAVE DONE TO PREVENT IT! ITS NOT LIKE I BLAME MYSELF!"

Rin started to cry and Minato wanted to walk up to me and comfort me. They both knew this wasn't their argument, I was just letting it out.

"I...I loved him. I loved him! I LOVED HIM! I LOVED HIM! I LOVED HIM! I LOVE HIM!!!" I screamed so loud I could have broken a window. I probably drew attention all the way from the village.

"AND NOW HES GONE! AND ALL I HAVE TOO REMEMBER HIM IS A BABY! MY BABY, HIS BABY! HES GONE! I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD! ITS LIKE ITS CONSTANTLY PLAYING ON LOOP, SO WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?!" I had tears running down my face, and I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I couldn't take it, I felt like someone was stabbing my stomach and twisting it. I felt like I was dying.

Rin and Minato we're in shock. I had just told them I have a baby. I was in all this pain and hiding it from everyone. I remember them crying and running towards me.

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Then everything went black.