NOSIHLE

Part 5

NOSIHLE

-Dear lord i know i have sinned greatly but please, please protect him/her and give a good stable home as i am not able to give her one. Amen-I said a short silent prayer before opening my eyes.

Person: Hi, Im Dr Sibahle Ndalo. and you've given birth to a beautiful babygirl

she handed the baby to me. i took her

Doc: any names :D

i shook my head

Doc: shes beautiful

i nodded

Doc: let me leave you too to bond, one of the nurses will come and help you out with everything

Me: cant you help me?

Her: I can but i have other patients that need my help sweety

Me: please. Im scared the nurses will shout at me

she thought for a while.

Her: ok

she took her coat off then she showed me how everything was done after that she left and i was left with this white baby who would remind me of my greatest mistake for years to come. I couldnt keep her. I took my clothes and wore them then sneaked out of the hospital without people noticing me. I went to my place and washed then slept. The stitches hurt so bad. I felt bad about what i had done but it was for the baby's sake, and i'm sure the doc will make sure the baby gets a good home.

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5 Years later

Its been 5 years since i gave birth and today she turns 5. I wish i could see her and how she looks, but no i have to protect her from her father. Turns out he is looking for me and he hasnt stopped. I went to frere with hopes to run into Dr Ndalo, i needed to know whether she was safe and had a loving home. i got to reception and asked to see Dr Ndalo and the lady told me she was in theater, I told her i'd wait. After an hour she came to reception, i went to her and she didnt recognise-i had cut my hair-

Me: Hi doc

Her: hey, I heard you wanted to see me?

Me: may we please talk in your office?

Her: we can talk here

Me: please

Her: do i know you? i feel like i have seen you somewhere

Me: yes you do, now may please talk somewhere private?

i was carrying a paper bag with a teddybear. She led the way to an office, The office had pictures of a family but none of hers. I think it wasnt her office.

Me: nice

Her: you wanted to talk to me

Me: yes. 5 years ago 23 February i gave birth here and you were my doctor

Her: i knew i recognised you. You left your daughter. why?

Me: firstly my name is Nosihle Sobukwe. I left her because i was hoping you would get her a family that would love her and give her everything i would never be able to

Her: what? why? what do you even want here?

Me: I know what i did was wrong but i had no choice

Her: that is not true! we always have a choice!

Me: you dont understand. I had to.

I told her the whole story

Her: it still does not justify what you did

Me: i know and i regret it

Her: so what are doing here? You want her back so your boyfriend can kill her

Me: no. I just want you to give this*i put the paper bag on the table* to whoever adopted her

Her: I adopted her and i'm not giving her that

Me: may i see her pictures

Her: No

Me: please may i just see her pictures and i promise i'll stay away from you

she gave in. she took a bag under the table then took out a wallet and showed me.

Me: Shes beautiful

Her: Her name is Sinobomi

Me: thats a beautiful name. She has father's eyes*i was teary*-my baby was so beautiful with her-

She took her wallet from me.

Her: you need to leave

Me: please will you give her this for me

Her: fine.

Me: Thank you. Thank you for everything

Her: Fine. Dont ever come back here again

i took my bag and left the hospital.

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5 years later-23 February 1986

My baby was turnin 10 years today. I missed her everyday but atleast she was safe, Dr Ndalo probably made sure of that. i was in town just shopping around when i bumped into a beautiful lil girl inside woolworths

Her: sorry

Me: its ok. You so beautiful, where are your parents?

Her: Thank you, They are over there*she pointed somewhere but i couldnt see where*

Me: i'm Nosihle Sobukwe, whats your name?

Her: i'm Sinobomi Ndalo. you also beautiful

i looked at her for the longest then it dawned on me that i was actually talking to my daughter for the very first time :D :)

Her: you crying, did you lose something?

Me: no.*i said wiping my tears*

we heard someone call her

Her: thats my mom calling. I have to go

Me: ok, it was nice meeting you

Her: likewise. Bye now

and like that she was gone :'( . what if i never see her again?!

I decided to just leave. I went home, got there and packed up all my stuff and headed to Durban. I got there and flat hunt til i found a place to rent in umlazi. The next day i went to look for a job in town and i found one at Suncoast hotel and i was a maid.

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Its been a month in durban and its all good, i have made some friends here at work and things are fun. It was on a friday and i was working a double shift. I was carrying clean fresh towels when i bumped into someone on the passage.

Person: i am so sorry, let me help you

Me: no thanks, im fine sir

Him: i insist.

he kneeled down and helped me pick the towels up.