I love you
Did you know that?
That ever since you got to know this pale girl
With blonde hair and green eyes
I loved you
I used to be able to say
Everything I've ever wanted
Directly to your face
Now I get shy
Embarrassed
As if my words are my pale skin
Exposed to you
Under a microscope
You know the feeling of loosing something?
It's like a hallow, empty ache
Its like swimming down
Deep into the cold, dark waters
Your lungs burn for air, and you want so badly to make it
But you can't
You won't
And you know it
That's how I feel with us
My heart burns for you
But we just couldn't make it work
It's like trying to swim to an impossible depth
You know you can't
But you try
We tried so hard, Mi Amor
We tried
And we fought
But not always for the cause
I wish I had the strength to tell you
That I'm so sorry for everything that I've done
And beg for you to take me back
I wish I had the strength to show you
How much I've missed you
How incomplete I feel without you
I wish I had the strength to give you
Everything that you want in me
Everything that you need
I wish I had the strength
To swallow my pride
Curl in your arms
And let myself be the vulnerable pale girl
With blonde hair and green eyes
But I don't have the strength
So I walk around and smile
And pretend to be okay
While my heart aches every time you look away
I don't have the strength
So I tell my friends "I'm over it"
But on the inside the only thing I'm over
Is being without you
I have no strength
So I tell you I'm okay
That I don't hurt anymore
And that you should move on
I am just as much at fault as you
But I just wish we could
Could find a way to stop being cruel to each other
To stop with the hateful words
And short fuses
I want so badly to be the girl that is still on your mind
But girls have always surrounded you
And it would be no suprise to me
If you've already moved on
And found a new Nena
I tell you to move on
That we can't even exist
As friends anymore
And I hope to God you never have to know the pain I feel
When I tell you those things
I want to be IT for you
Remember when we used to say that?
Remember when we used to tell each other
Everyday
How much we missed each other?
What.....
What happened to us?
We grew so far apart
That not being together
Seemed the way to go
You hurt me so badly when we were together
But I hurt you too
Every time I cry over you
I swear to myself that it'll be the last time
When I told you we were done
And you accepted it
I felt that you felt we were done, too
You didn't fight for me
For us
Didn't tell me "No, well find a way"
Like I had hoped you would
I felt like I wasn't worth fighting for
Anymore
Want to know why I agreed to everything even after we weren't together ?
Yes I wanted it
But I felt that if you wanted me enough for the physical
You would take me back
And we could start to repair the mental
How fucked up is that?
I wanted you to want
And I didn't care in what way
I just needed to feel
Needed by you
But what I need now
Is you
Is fixed "Us"
Can we fix us ?
Please say yes
Please take back this pale, horribly broken girl
With blonde hair and green eyes
And I will take back my beautiful boy
With dark eyes that hide pain
And a smile that hides burden
Can we start new
Say "Fuck it"
And start over ?
Can we?
Can we try to be WE
Just one more time ?
We are each other's lethal antidote
But I love you
I want you
Mi Amor
Mi Novio
Forgive me
