If They Only Knew

Chapter 1 - Crossed Paths

*Kathleen*

It's been two months and seven days since I've last talked or seen him and since the day I found him with her. 

The day my heart broke. It should have been inside that car, it should have been me instead of her in the dark. Ever since I've been heartbroken I've spent my days alone in my room bawling and nights out drinking away my memories of us.

It was only months ago but what seems like only yesterday. My boyfriend.. Ex boyfriend Matias. He.. He cheated on me with another girl. I'm still heart broken, depressed.  I cant wrap my head around it, im constantly replaying the image of them together in my mind, it keeps me up most nights.

He was my first kiss, 

My first "I love you"  

and my first time.  

I can't just get over the year we shared together in the past two months. 

I still hear his name, see his face in every crowd. Im trying not to think about him. Why can't he just let me be? I should've known he would bring me heartache. He was too sweet and perfect with a mop of black curls on his head and poted rosy lips. i catch myslef smilling remebering the echo of his laugh and i try to swallow the bitter taste in my mouth.

I dream about his familiar embrace and awake crying. 

He and I had something beautiful yet so do functional, it just couldn't last. 

no matter how many sleepless nights of fighting and crying he put me throw. i was always back at the door the next day blamming myself, i was always the one doing wrong. I had to aplogize for everything i did or said that he didnt agree with.

I loved him so but I let him go because I knew he never cared for me the way I cared for him. He always so easily blew me off to go hang out with friends, or what i thought was his friends. last time i chewcked i didnt sleep with my friends behind my boyfriends back but he had no issue in doing that to me.

I'm still healing from the loss, still a little bit delirious.  

Lucy tries her best to comfort me, and I try my best to fake a smile for her sake. I know shes sick of my state, always complaining and the outbursts at midnight but shes always the first to be there for me and i can never repay her.

I sit with my knees up to my chest reading another romance book to try and get my mind off him. I cannot sleep at night without waking up with him on my mind. Now he's gone and I'm haunted and I bet he is just fine. Did I make it that easy for him to walk right in and out of my life?  

It seems like everything I do it reminds me if him.

I sit reading another book about some couple falling in love. Desperately hoping for the same ending. Its mid January and the snow is drifting down out through the windows.

Lucy and I met in the first year of High School in gym class. Friends from the first day when we were paired up for volleyball, as tall as she is you would assume shed be amazing at sports, it is quite the opposite, she remind sme of a new born baby giraffe. Were like sisters, knowing everything little thing about one another. She and I are alike in some ways but very different in others. Shes got a great sense of humour that macthes a snorty laugh, and short brown hair with amazing hazel eyes and long, thin legs. 

All the boys are in love with her,  

they can't keep from gawking at her when she enters a room. As usual I'm just the tag along.

We graduated high school last May and now we both are upgrading online to get in to university, she wants to stay in Colorado, and go to the Unviersity of Denver but I have no plans, no idea who or what I want to be. Weve managed to rent this small, run down flat with some family inheritance and two jobs.