𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓜𝓮 𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮

Chapter 2

Today is Friday. She decides to skip; plus, there is no lab class today so she won't be missing an exciting class. She stays at home. Today is a different. Her problem is not school, it's her father.

Her mother has woken her up at 8:30 in the morning. She came into the dining-cum-drawing room. She is met with her father sitting in the sofa and ordering his wife for everything. Hiraeth knows her mother has pain in her legs. But she has never seen her disobey her husband. Hira hates it.

Her father often raises his voice at her mother for no practical reasons and if her mother tries to stand up for herself, her father gets angrier and insults her in foul language.

Her father doesn't even take her mother to the doctor. If Hiraeth's mother ever goes to doctor with Hiraeth's grandparents, her father wouldn't buy the medicines for her and then tell her how much he has to spend on her. Speaking of this, she is reminded that her father even doesn't want to take her to the doctor. Does her father even care if she lives or not? She remembers the nights her mother begged and then screamed to take Hiraeth to the doctor when she was on the verge of affecting her kidneys due to repeated urinary tract infections.

Her father is indifferent towards her. He doesn't seem to care if she exists or not, when she does something good. If she goes wrong, she is suddenly a shame to him. If she sticks up for her mother, she is a bad girl, she is disgrace, she is ill-mannered, she is disrespectful.

Inside the house his wife and daughter are no one to him, but when he is with others, suddenly his love for his daughter and wife is overwhelming.

Hiraeth doesn't like all these. Hiraeth doesn't like her father. Sometimes she thinks he is not her father but merely donated his sperm to make her. A father isn't by blood, it's by duty. She hates to take her father's surname, but everywhere officially she still has to carry the burden of that man's surname. She has a wish, when she grows up, she has decided to keep her first name only. But still, she loves him. When her mother is sad, she is always there saying her not to let her father's words get her, but it gets in her. She still smiles and make her mother smile.

Hiraeth's smile falters on seeing her father. She wishes her father would disappear from her and her mother's life, but still a part of her wishes he would love them, they would make a happy family together.

She goes into the kitchen and hugs her mother and brings the breakfast to her father. She carries on with her morning routine. By 9:30 she sits down to study. She opens her textbook and starts revising her studies that she learnt in school and last evening. Her mind wanders off to different thoughts. Her brain weaves the threads of different thoughts into a sweet story for her. She smiles on her own for a second. She then starts weaving another story in her mind. She is so happy.

Her mind resides in the world of her own but she continues to do her mundane routine. She is still studying. She repeats the same paragraph, because she isn't concentrating. This continues till her mother calls her for lunch.

At the table, she sits opposite to her father. Her mother is beside her. She serves her father and sits down. Her mother and she serve themselves and starts eating. Her father doesn't even give her a glance. She ignores it and chats with her mother.

After lunch, she is doing maths homework, while her mother is taking a nap, and her father is busy watching the television. She is listening to her favourite playlist on Spotify. The advertisements are annoying but she doesn't mind as long as she can listen to a song while working.

By around 4:30 she closes her notebook and looks out of the window. Her neighbourhood friends are cycling on the streets but nobody has called her. She ignores them. Whatever, she likes to cycle around the neighbourhood alone. Perks of cycling includes freedom to go anywhere you like and buying snacks for yourself. What's better than getting to eat a whole packet of chips without having to share to share it with others? Plus, she doesn't like outdoor activities− she likes board games, reading storybooks, writing and reading poems, painting.

Some who have seen her paintings and poems, say they are good, but she doesn't believe them. She believes and listens to her inner voice which criticises everything she does. It's irrational, she knows, but the voice just won't go away. Behind her confident appearance, there is the self-doubting self that criticises her more than anyone else. She hides every tear, every insecurity behind the same bright smile that she always wears in front of people.

She sometimes come off as rude because she sometimes snaps at others. But believe it or not she never gets angry with anyone. It's her tears evaporating in her burning heart. It's her frustration. It's her way of pushing away others when she is feeling down. Her greatest fear is standing emotionally naked and vulnerable before someone. She has brought up her walls with effort for all these 15 years, and now she can't let it breach down. She has isolated herself, that is, her true emotions. She has vowed to herself to hide it. She has vowed to fight her own demons alone.

She drinks a cup of tea with two biscuits. Then she paints with watercolour on her drawing pad to take her mind off the reality. It is something she did being present in reality. It is a break, not escape.

Fast forward to dinner time, her father has found a reason to argue with her mother. So, she shuts up and continues with her work. It is about how much money he has to spend on her medicines. She doesn't earn so she doesn't understand.

What an irony! His family prohibited her from working. They even prohibited her from following her passion. She wasn't allowed to practise her guitar.

She feels all live under the same roof, but not in the same home. Her father is not in the home. She gulps down her dinner with a distaste on her tongue and goes to bed, obviously after hugging her mother.