Loving you from a distance

Watching You

First day of school went by and it was okay. After the flag ceremony we all went to our designated classrooms. I thought nothing of the boy I just saw. Too many worries filled my head to even think about him. I followed my classmates into our room and sat down in my seat. I took a long deep breath. The fear and tension was killing me. I watched as everyone else sat in their seats and started talking to each other. Of course they all knew each other. They probably were friends and classmates during the past years. Unfortunately for me, I knew no one. I just remained using my phone and staring into space. I watched the view of the court from the window. This was happening alright. I'm back in school. The teacher suddenly came in and introduced himself. He seemed... Nice? I guess. I don't know, he spoke friendly and politely. Spoke about the school rules and regulations, what we're supposed to do, and how the school year was gonna be. Made a few jokes and everyone laughed. Apparently he was our history teacher. Great! A subject I'm not that good in. I wanted to drown in a pit. After he left, we waited for the next teacher. I remained quiet and watched what was happening around the class. Everyone was nice I think, I hadn't really talked to anyone.

Suddenly a girl who sat in front of me asked me if I was new. I nodded. It was the first time someone had approached me or talked to me. I was still very shy and still trying to adjust. This wasn't easy for me to do. The next teacher came by and same old same old. Explained some things, basic introduction, jokes and laughs and all that. Third period has ended and now it was recess. I opened my bag and got my lunchbox. My dad had made me a spam sandwich to eat. I don't know why but I felt tension when I was eating. It felt like everyone was staring at me, even of they weren't. It made my heart pound in fear, and my knees started to shake. I took one bite of my sandwich, and then put on my mask while chewing so that no one could see my face when I was eating. Not that they were even watching, it's just that my social anxiety makes me overthink things and I get scared. I was already finished with my sandwich and I returned my lunchbox in my bag. I put my arm on the desk and my hand on my cheek, resting my head on my hand. I was deep in thought. I was daydreaming. My only escape from reality. I watched the outside as students walked around the campus, noise from their chattering. I could see workers doing some construction around the front. I sighed. All of a sudden, a figure passed by and suddenly caught my eye. It was him, that same boy from this morning.

He walked by my classroom, I watched through the window as he was passing, I don't know but again my heart was fluttering. Indeed he was really cute. "He's so good looking!" I overheard two of my female classmates utter towards each other. A smile crept up in my face. Indeed he was. My mind silently agreed. At least I wasn't the only one who found him attractive. Moving on... Recess has ended and the hours went by. It was a typical first day. I didn't really talk to much people as I was too shy and didn't even know what to say. The teachers told us stories, and gave us activities, some of us introduced themselves and others talked about themselves. The teachers told us about how things could possibly go and gave some advices, tips, and others. It was now twelve noon, and school was over. I saw my sister waiting for me outside. I picked up my backpack and wore it on my back, I greeted my teacher a goodbye along with my classmates, and we all lined up and left the school. My mother was with my younger sister waiting for me at the nearby pizza shop. Me and my older sister Tori walked there and met my mom. They had ordered a pizza and was waiting for it. I just got my period the other day so my pad was full and I needed to change. So I excused myself and ran into the restaurant bathroom.

It was full, as I expected. I quickly changed and threw the used pad in the trash. I felt alot better. The pizza had already came and though I wasn't that hungry, I still ate some, as pizza is my favorite food. My mom asked me about school, wondered how my day went, I never really liked answering those types of questions, made me feel uncomfortable. I just replied "it was fine, just what I expected it to be, nothing much" Okay I know my answer was kinda cold, but I was exhausted, and not in the best mood. I just wanted to go home and lay down in my bed and use my phone. So we left after that and went home. The days went by and everything was as I expected. I would wake up at five in the morning and get ready for school, I'd go to school and do whatever it is I did there, and came home. We had our pretest which is basically a test before we start our topics and lessons to see how much we know about it. Most of us got a low score, but it was okay because we knew nothing, and it wasnt recorded in our grades anyway. School was school. I didn't mind being the quiet girl, I did talk to some of my classmates though, just a few sentences managed to come out of me. I focused on my goal to make it to the top, so I would listen attentively to the teacher, and try my best to recite in class for extra points. It took alot of courage for me to do things like speak up and whenever I was in front of the class, and all eyes were on me, I felt so scared, like I was gonna get laughed at. I know that they are nice, it's just my worries taking control of my mind, and it's something that I can't seem to help.