this cold. [jack g]

2

INDIE'S POV

two years. yeah, two years since my last dance competition. i'm feeling a little bit lost actually.

everything feels weird. let me explain...

a few days before i was thinking by myself and i came to realize that the relationship i was in wasn't going anywhere actually. so i decided to let it go. since then i haven't even texted him. but i know that the decision i took was the best. the thing here is that... i haven't talked with anyone about this, not even Cameron. so i'm not single yet, i just need to talk with him about it. the thing here is that.. i don't really know how it all will turn out. the first time we broke up, he went crazy, drinking, smoking, easy girls, drunk calling me at 3am and coming to my house, he talked to a lot of friends he doesn't know just to talk about what happened.

"alright ladies, get in your places, we're going for 3 rounds non-stop and you all can go home, ok?" Sasha said, she came in fixing her ponytail, hair falling down to the sides of her face, everyone cheers up and get in their places "in the count of eight ok?... 5..6..7..8" 

one dance by drake repeated 3 times in a row, at the last chorus in each one i jump in the center and do my solo. can you believe it? i had a solo, after 2 years. Sasha really trusts me.

--

"Indie, we're going shopping. do you want something?" mom said snapping me out of my thoughts

"i need more doritos and that cheese salsa pleaaase- OH AND A CHERRY COKE" i said with a big smile. "honey, you have your first competition after two years in less than two weeks, you should start eating healthy.." 

"but... ugh fine" i rolled my eyes and came back to my book. a few minutes later my phone started to vibrate, i saw the screen and it was Lucy

"hello?" 

"INDIE! hellooooooooo cutiepie" damn, i bet she's high as fuck.. again.

"Hey babyyyy, what's going on?" "i'm outside, open please i'm freezing!" 

"freezing? jezzz i'm about to melt wtf are you on lady, i'm coming" i throw away my phone and make my way downstairs

"bitchhhh i've got the munchies, feed me" Lu says as she comes inside without even saying hi, typical.

"make your way to the kitchen, i think there's pie" 

......

"So let me get this straight, you feel in EVERY inch of your body that he's not the right one?" she says, eyes wide open and waiting impatiently for an answer.

"well.. yeah, kind of" i said looking at my hands. fingers intertwined. "it's just that.. i don't feel the same, there's nothing right now that would make me stay. we're so different and definitely not in the 'good way', you know me, you know i'm not the type of girl that stops in her tracks just because she saw a cute boy, or the kind of girl that went all crazy because the hot guy at school talked to her, and obviously not the type of girl that doesn't speak back when a boy tries to make a mean comment. i mean, i'm not that girl that basically has all over her face written 'i want you', and that kind of girl is exactly the kind of girl that he's looking for. he's way too good actually.. and, it's just that.. i don't know, i don't feel safe with him, i don't feel comfortable.. i mean yeah he's my best friend too, but now it all feels so distant.. i don't know."

the room went silent for two minutes, i felt like i was about to cry when Lu speaked 

"do you love him?"

my mind went black, i couldn't think of anything. do i even love him anymore?