Write Like You Breathe

You're not broken. Your heart is.

You had your heartbroken and it will hurt you. It will make you want to sleep and never wake up again only to feel the pain. Sometimes, your stomach would cringe when you go to places where both of you have been to. You will remember him in everything you do and his memory will break you and make you want to forget. You will remember the way he smiles at you, the way he makes your stomach flutter, the way he tells you how beautiful you are, the way he makes it safe for you to be yourself, the way he knows your brand of comedy; what makes and breaks you, and you will remember every fiber of his being; his unguarded moments, his laugh, his voice, his pain, and his joy. It's not going to be easy. Sometimes, your silly heart will romanticize your pain and it will hurt. You're going to cry and your chest will hurt because of too much hurting, but you're going to be okay. It will pass. I swear, it will come to pass.

No. I don't know when. But one thing is for sure, God's grace is enough to fix your broken, little heart. His love is bigger than your pain. He will make you brave. He will make you want to wake up because He will make you realize that each day is a gift from Him. He will turn your sorrow into joy, and He will become your peace. You will still find His rest amidst the chaos in your chest. It's painful and you will want it to end, but He will make this journey beautiful for you.

Maybe, just maybe, God allows us to be broken because He wants to make us realize that only He can make us whole. Sometimes, God makes the road edgy because He's sharpening our wisdom. He allows us to get wrong to point us back to Him. Maybe we need to cry just so He could touch our face and make us feel how much He loves us. Maybe God wants us to become vulnerable in His presence again. He wants us to draw near and find our comfort in Him. And He will make us stronger.

But even though you are in this season, I hope you could be thankful. Be thankful because it happened. All the butterflies you've felt in your stomach were there for a reason. To make you happy, and I know you were. Love came and happened to you. And for that alone, you should be happy, because once upon a time, you became a part of something beautiful; a love that rejoices in the happiness of others and love that glorifies the Lord. You had the kind of heart that was never selfish. You were passionate and your love was solid. It was unbreakable. And we are proud of you. We will always be.

Also, while you're waiting, remember that you were someone new this time. You cried but you were stronger. You gracefully picked up the pieces of yourself at the feet of your Saviour, and that humility you've shown is enough for me to know that my friend, you are winning this. Some people lose their faith in themselves when they get hurt but not you. And you shouldn't. Don't let this pain consume you. Do not let your wounds celebrate your pain.

No, don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It happened because it had to. It has a purpose. I'm sorry, but I just can't tell you what. But I know that God put you on this season because He is preparing you for something beautiful. And there is always pain in something beautiful.

I know it feels unbearable now, but keep on trusting. You will get through this. But for as long as the pain is still there, it's okay to feel it. Pain makes us feel human. But you for one are too beautiful to be beaten up.

I know that God is in the business of healing our hearts. And you've been through this. You've been in this horrible place before, but you survived. And I know, you will champion this one, too. This will not break you. No. You are not broken. Your heart is. Eventually, you will find your way out of this pain and when you get there, we will celebrate because once again, you've won your battle.