I can't bring myself too like my looks. I'm not horrible to myself bc I know my future self will feel bad. Like when you look at old 0hotos of your self, and you hate yourself cus you look terrible. But it's okay you were a kid right, you didn't know how to look better and you had that wide eyed crooked teeth ugly cuteness. But there's still ugly. And I know as an adult I'll excuse my teen ugliness, like I was a teen going through a phase, I didn't know better. But when do I need to know better?
I'm afraid of the ridicule that may come if I try, but at least with current ridicule I can say I didn't try better and I didn't try.
And my younger me, that Me turned into current me. But current me allowed that to happen, I can't dislike one without disliking the other, so no matter how much I lie to myself when I see a photo, there's always a bittersweet happiness. Happiness because that me doesn't know what I do but a lingering sadness is there, cus ik what's to come.
Y'know?
