Welcome to The Land of Misfit Toys

Chapter 3: The bitter past

“Are you okay?” Abby asked as she knelt down and checked to see if I was okay.

“Yeah,” I whispered as I tried to regain proper composure by sitting down and rubbing my eyes as my eye glasses hung from my collar.

“What the hell is wrong with you, dude?” Andrew growled as he shoved the guy that caused me to mercilessly fall to the hard unforgiving floor.

The guy grinned his distinctive cocky grin. That’s one grin I could never forget, especially because that was the grin that was plastered on that face the day he let me crumble to the remains of what I am today.

“Not my fault the lunatic’s that scrawny,” the guy exclaimed cockily. Man, I hate him.

The crowd laughed at his stupid joke. I haven’t noticed that a large crowd surrounded us till now. It’s embarrassing to fall in a public place, but imagine, falling on a public place where everyone stared at you like they were staring at your very soul.

“Why do you always have to ruin my day, Logan?” I shouted at him, trying to fight the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes.

I didn’t want to wait for an answer. I wanted to get away from here, I wanted to run away from their scrutinizing and degrading stares, I wanted to forget the forbidding past.

“Gray!” Abby shouted after me, her voice full of worry and sister-like care.

I didn’t want to be rude or anything, especially to Abby and Andrew because they were my new friends and because it wasn’t my nature to be rude, but I had to get away, I had to vanish.

Where would I run to? I am alienated with these confusing halls, halls that seemed to shrink and kill the oxygen that gave life to my lungs. The place was so constricting, like the snake of embarrassment and loneliness became barbed wires that constricted my neck.

I want to disappear. I want to vanish.

I ran, ran like a mad man, not minding the awkward stares I got from the students I passed by at the hallways. I ran as fast as my little fragile legs can take me, as fast as my breath can manage. I know not of directions, but my heart always leads me to the place where fantasies were real.

I burst through double doors with a sob and a breath. I knew my heart wouldn’t fail me, the only thing I can actually count on since... since then...

It was the library, and thankfully, it was deserted. The old librarian by the corner didn’t even acknowledge my presence. It was kind of rude, I guess, but I liked it that way right now.

I roamed through the labrynthian library, with shelves and shelves of old books. I inhaled the sweet smell of old papers, the smell of perfection of the imperfect.

Books have always given me comfort, comfort that no one has ever given me, comfort I have longed from a big brother.

I walked aimlessly, tracing the comforting texture of bounded pages. It comforted me, true, but it did not stop the tears from pouring through my eyes.

I walked and walked and walked, until I have finally found the cornerstones. Finally, solitude.

I sat there, facing the corner, straining the tears from pouring out my eyes but with much failure. I couldn’t help it, I had to cry or I’ll do something stupid. The doctor told me that I had to let my emotions out or else my sickness would kick in.

I shake my head, ridding my thoughts of the days that I was imprisoned in an isolation chamber, straining to get free and shouting for my parent’s help. I know they loved me and did things that were best for me, but the day they stared deep inside my eyes like I was a soulless monster, I had lost faith in them.