To Change a Life

Only one more night, I promised myself. Only one more night on this planet, I might as well enjoy it. That's what I was doing at school at 3:46, listening to shitty pop music. My school decided to throw a holiday party, and I came for some reason.

But I wasn't having fun. I was watching my ex, Indie, who was hanging out with MY nerd friends. My stomach churned at the sight. She didn't fit in with them, no matter how hard she tried to. I sunk back into my corner and pulled my hood over my head.

Everyone else was having a good time. Scratch that; there was a boy on the other side of the room being a wallflower as well. I tried to figure out who he was, but I couldn't get a good look through the LED lights and dancing bodies.

"Jazz! Come dance with us!" My small friend, Emma, shouted to me. Oh, why the hell not, I asked and jumped down from my perch. As the night went on, I drifted back and forth from my nerd friends and my girly friends. I laughed way too hard when my three best guy friends walked in. Ethan, Joseph, and Adriel wore the fucking band tuxedo shirts that we received earlier, with the top button undone, like they were cool. It was great.

By then, it was four. The whole squad was there now. The wallflower boy was there too. I still couldn't see his face very well, but I could see his piercing blue eyes. For a moment, I was staring, until Quinn brought me back to reality.

Quinn was one of my oldest friends. He went to school with me from first grade, post. He had wavy, shortish blond hair and dark brown eyes. His skin was milky white and covered in freckles. He used to hang out with me and my best friend when we were younger.

"That's Ash. He doesn't like these things." Quinn shouted over the blaring noise.

"Then why is he even here?" I shouted back.

"Because we all are. Or maybe it's because Ind—-" Mara, Quinn's insane girlfriend, elbowed him in the side and glared at him. He shut up pretty quickly. I pretended like I didn't know that he was about to say 'because Indie's here'. Everyone loved Indie, so I wasn't surprised. A weird pang of jealousy ran through me when I saw her walk by. I wished I was her all the time.

Quinn and Mara disappeared into the swarm of people. I turned my attention back to the boy, Ash. I said his name quietly. I liked the way it easily rolled off my tongue. He turned his head and made eye contact with me for a split second. I quickly looked in the other direction. When I saw his face, I nearly shouted. He looked slightly similar to my hero, Andy Biersack. When he smiled, his grin was lopsided and barely fit on his face. He had long brown hair that hung in his face. He was pretty fucking beautiful.

I didn't know what it was about him but he was strangely alluring. He was trouble and I knew it.

"Jazz!" Someone shouted from behind me. I turned to see Indie standing with Franchesca, waving me over. I smiled and walked over.

"What's up?" I asked when I reached them. Indie smirked.

"Were you staring at...Ash?" She asked like she was surprised. Her blue hair was in her face, covering her raised eyebrow. Oh god.

"Maybe I was. So what?"

"You know I'm friends with him, right? I can talk to him for you!"

I bit my lip and shook my head. "No no no no! Don't do that!" I didn't want ME to talk to him! Having Indie do it would be so much worse. She did though. While I was dancing with Emma, Indie delivered the information.

"He is single and he also noticed you looking at him. I think he might like you." She smiled and patted my shoulder.

"I told you not to talk to him for me! Oh god, this is so fucking embarrassing!" I put my hands over my face.

"Well, at least he's thinking about you now."

"Thanks Lucifer." I lifted my head up and looked away. My cheeks were burning and probably as red as a tomato. I had no chance with Ash, but it made me all giggly that he was even thinking about me.

+ + +

That night, I received a rare phone call from my friend, Stephanie. I picked up the phone and answered it.

"Hey Frankie!" Stephanie shouted through the phone. I was the Frank Iero to her Gerard Way. Yep, we were those kids.

"Hello Gerard. Why are you calling me?"

"Do you like Ash Magarelli?" HOW DID SHE KNOW?!? SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE!

"How the actual fuck do you know about this?" I yell-whispered.

"He's going to ask you out tomorrow." She said calmly. My heart began to beat a mile a minute and my head was spinning. How did she even know these things? "He just messaged me, asking if I knew Indie's friend who wore a beanie and tons of eyeliner."

"Oh. Ohhh! Well what happened after that?!"

"I told him that he wasn't your type. I don't think he believed me though." Do I even have a type?

"Why on earth would you do that?" I hissed.

"You know what, I'm going to tell him to ask you to be the Lainey to his Greg!"

"I swear to god, Stephanie! No!" Yes, having him ask me out that way would be fucking adorable, but it was too much. It would be super awkward because chances are, he wouldn't understand the joke. Greg was my favorite YouTuber and Lainey was his beautiful wife.

"Too late! I sent it!"

"Goddamn it, Gerard!"

"He responded with, no."

"Good!"

"He's definitely gonna do it tomorrow so yeah. This was a surprise. You seriously like him? You're so whoa and he's so oh."

"Yes I think I do like him. Yeah, I do. And, I appreciate the compliment, but I'm not whoa. I'm Dan's double chin face." I replied. Dan was another YouTuber, and he was British.

The rest of my night consisted of listening to Stephanie fangirl about Gerard Way and his fucking Twitter. It was almost midnight, and I was getting tired.

"I'm tired. I need to sleep. Bye Gerd."

"Goodnight." She yawned back.

"So long and goodnight." I heard her fake a sob before I ended the call.

That night, December 17th, 2014, I did not kill myself.

(A/N: So this story has been the last few months of my life. I'd like to say that this person, while sharing my name, isn't me anymore. I'm not this version of Jazz; the jealous, suicidal one. Everything that I say in here, I'd probably never say, because I'm not that anymore. Just thought I'd announce that. Also, I didn't change the names of the people in the story because it would feel less real to me. So yeah.)