MARTYR

Premeditation

Death.

What is death, you might ask? The concept to take one's life away from them. Now, that's just upsetting, isn't it? Think about it. There are only one of us here. Each and every single individual person are incredibly unique. Not no two people are the exact same. The closest things that could potentially fathom of such duplication, come to be of twins, siblings, and parents and their children.

Having said that, it is just not possible to perfectly recreate a whole, exact, existing being. One that has already been made. It hasn't been possible, certainly isn't now, and won't ever be.

I, of all people, would most certainly feel very, *very* bad to have to.. kill someone. To.. take the life away from them? Now-- that's just not something that I can do. Or, at least, something that I thought I would never want to. But, my life is sort of the whole idea of death itself.

So now, here I am. I am on my way to school now as I typically take the bus there. I get woken up from my annoying siblings. I have three other siblings. Two older brothers, and a younger sister. My older brothers usually make a lot of noise, god forbid knows what the hell they do. And my sister, well she is young. I guess noise is just prominent at a young age, isn't it?

Well, either way, I still manage to get myself off my bed and quickly get myself dressed. I head on downstairs as I see my mom as she is making some breakfast. My dad is already gone off to work since he usually goes there rather early. Like, so damn early. Around 5 or so. I go over to the dining table and sit down. I start to eat.

"Make sure you don't forget your jacket this time, Jake. I'm not trying to go out in the cold just so you can get it. I can't believe you could forget!"

"Ahh, I know, mom. I'm sorry about that. I don't know, the cold just doesn't really hit me like that."

It is around 50 degrees typically. And very snowy, too. The snow can be very annoying. Hopefully it rains soon or something. I don't know. I just want it to snow. But hey, there is not much that I can do about it, now, can I?

After I had finished eating, I quickly brushed up my teeth, got my backpack, my jacket of course, and put it on. Right before I had left, though, I usually have a small backpack with me, and a pocket knife, too. My mom had usually wondered why I would always have it on me. I couldn't tell her why exactly, so I instead just told her that I usually use it to cut my lunch since it can be hard for me to eat.

After getting all the stuff that I needed to get, I had finally head on out as I went over to the bus stop as I awaited it to arrive. As I do so, I see my good pal, Dylan, coming up to me. 

"Hey, Jake!"

Dylan is very unique. At least, that's to what I like to call him. Whenever I think of him, I couldn't at all tell you his personality. You think you would, after we have been friends for about six years now. All I can really say, is that he is most certainly unique. Like, he has a beige, dark smoke-like coffee lookin' ass hair. He grows that shit so fast that you would most likely see him with both his eyes being covered. Ever since it was safe to go to school without a mask (because of that stupid COVID shit.) he would immediately stop using them. I mean, his eyes get covered from his hair, and now his face does too from the mask. So hey, what would you expect? Anyway.. I would say he is rather tall. I am taller than him, and I am about a 5'6 myself. When you actually can see his eyes, he has a pale, desaturated, lifeless grey eye. It's ironic, since his other eye displays more of an emerald, bright, hopeful filled eye. An eye that would probably mesmerize you. If only both his eyes we're actually such a green field color. His heterochromia ruins that, though.

"Oh, hey Dylan. What's up, you usually have your mom take you to school, no?"

"Ah, well that's true. But today she actually woke up sick. So, my dad just told me to take the bus. I don't quite understand the schedule, though, so I just thought to come here early-ish."

"Well, you're about an hour early."

"An HOUR?! Then why the hell are you here?!"

"I dunno. I just kinda like the peace. It's hard for me to get that at my place."

"With all your siblings? Yeah, fair enough."

After what felt like a lot longer than usual, probably because Dylan was disturbing my peace, the bus had finally come over. Maybe I should wait ten minutes until his mom feels better. Eh, who knows. Either way, Dylan & I go inside the bus. He doesn't know anything about the seating. It's not like I usually see the same people everyday, anyway. Well, it's most, but some have been seen to change. I sit in the back, and Dylan just sits next to me.

Putting on my headphones to listen to music and look out the window, as the rest of the people on the bus are rowdy. And on the very, very back of the bus, you can even see some seniors smoking. Fucking, SMOKING! This early?! At this temperature?! It's so annoying. But it's the shit I have to deal with.

Though it is loud, Dylan decides to break our  silence.

"Shit, this sucks. The seats are uncomfortable as hell, the bus is so loud, and it is still freezing in here. Is this really what you have to deal with on a daily basis?"

"Meh, I guess so. You get used to it. Just have some headphones on you and everything else just goes a blur."

"The one time I'd forgotten to bring them.."

"You had a whole hour."

"Oh, shut it."

After a while, we were near the school. At least, that's to my knowledge. I've been on this bus a thousand times, I think I'd be perfectly capable of naming every street that we've passed. Dylan, once again, decides to speak. I swear, I am not just gonna go on the bus at all in this rate.

"Why do you always bring some sketch ass shit with you to school?"

"Like what?"

"A pocket knife."

"I cut my food."

Yeah, I tell Dylan the same excuse.

"What's with 'em trash bags, then?"

"I like to clean after myself, in a safe, compact space. I have morals, unlike you."

Oh- and don't even have me getting started on his clothing. He has a jank-ass bright windbreaker, with the colors typically consisting of that same emerald like color that his eye has, one of them. And a moody, toxic purple with a big, bright and bold cyan, as he has a hot pink on the inside. He also wears ripped jeans, to which I never understood the style. Is it even a style? Like, come on. You're just asking to get injured on those spots specifically, like you got punctured on those holes, and you play it off for 'style.'

"Morals? I don't think anyone else would even do that. Who even gets taught about that? Whatever, I shouldn't have asked."

A bit later on, and now we have finally made it to school. About damn time, I think. So, I get off the bus, much like anyone else.

"Alright, see ya second period Jakie!"

"Yeah yeah."

I never understood that nickname. Isn't a nickname supposed to be a short, funny version of your name? That's just longer.

As I walk through the cold, hard, concrete floor, to which I mostly step on the freezing, brisk and crunching sounds of snow, I for once actually think to look up. And I bump into someone.

My pocket knife conveniently falls down as do I.