Luna Park (An Ekkan Fanfiction)

Chapter 2

Kanat's greatest fear in his life was that he would become his father one day. His father had told him once that there could be no semblance of good in him since he was his son. Kanat would have agreed but Ekim entered his life and changed everything. He didn't trust himself or his judgment, but he trusted Ekim blindly. If she had found something worth loving in him, he must not be that bad. She was the reason he started believing he could rise above the environment he was born into. He was slowly understanding what love is. He was learning how to love. He had started basking in the feeling of being loved. When he lost that all of a sudden, he felt betrayed. The pain was unbearable. He had never been on such a high, and therefore, the low was just as deep. Since childhood, he had channeled every emotion into anger. That was how he functioned. The greater the pain, the more destructive his anger. However, he always had it somewhat under control. People might not agree but he knew where to stop, even if his boundaries were way riskier compared to usual. This time though, he lost sense of everything. All that unbearable heartbreaking pain turned into anger that burnt everything on its way. He wanted to hurt Ekim, no doubt. He wanted some connection with her, even if that was one of suffering. He wanted her to feel the same pain as him, but he lost control. He went too far with no idea how to come back. And now he was lost. Worse, he had a feeling that if he didn't find his way back, not only would he lose his Ekim but she would lose herself. A world without Ekim being the way she is, what was left in that world anyway?

He wanted to turn the clock back and stop himself but since he could not do that, he was going to do everything in his power to make it okay again. If only he could figure out how. The only person he could think of who would know the answer to this was Ekim. He laughed, a hollow sound. How had they gotten to this point? They were so happy. He closed his eyes and remembered the peace he felt when she laid her head on his chest on that bus. Her listening to his heartbeat made his heart happy. He did not even know a person could experience that kind of happiness. And now... He sensed her presence and immediately got up.

Sure, there she was. Walking alone in the corridor with her head bent down.

"Ekim!"

She didn't stop.

"Ekim!", he called out louder and ran to stop her. He held her shoulders and she flinched. His kahraman kiz flinched when he touched her. Could a person stay alive when he felt like the inside of his body was completely on fire? Breath, he reminded himself.

"Ekim, please. I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you", he forced the words out of his burning throat.

Ekim still won't look at him. Looking at the floor, she said, "I am tired, I want to go home."

"I can drop you. Please."

"Please, let me go. Please", her voice cracked. She then seemed to collect herself and spoke in that robotic tone again. "I want to go home."

"Okay", he conceded.

She did not move. He stepped back and that was when she moved as far away from him as possible and then walked out. She didn't want to even accidentally touch him. Was she scared of him? He looked at his hands and remembered her flinching when he touched her. He always liked people fearing him, it made him feel... Safe. But Ekim was always his exception. He loved it when she slapped him and put him in his place. He closed his eyes and he remembered Aziz walking past their father. He used to do the same thing as Ekim did. Wait for him to step aside, and keep as much distance as humanly possible. He couldn't save Aziz from his monstrous father, and now he himself became the monster for Ekim. Once a bully, always a bully. How stupid was he to think he could be redeemed - Naively believing that he could change when he saw how his father just became worse and worse as time passed. He was a lost cause. It is best if he stayed away from Ekim. She deserves better, so much better.

That's when he heard that sound. Glass shattering. It came from the direction Ekim left. He ran. The closer he got, the sounds of screaming and laughter got clearer. He stood frozen at the sight that awaited him. Melisa had thrown a glass bottle at Ekim, it seemed. Ekim's head was bleeding. Everyone was laughing as though it was the funniest sight.

"Ekim, I didn't see you coming canim", Melissa shrugged.

Kanat stepped forward ready to annihilate Melisa when he heard Ekim say, "It's okay."

What? Did Ekim just meekly let Melisa get away with throwing a glass bottle at her? She made her bleed, for God's sake. Melisa herself seemed surprised.

"Okay?", she asked.

"Yes, okay. Goodbye." Ekim walked away.

Everyone had stopped laughing. Instead, all of them seemed puzzled. This was Ekim Güleryüz, the girl who had singlehandedly turned the entirety of Gerçek Koleji upside down. The one whose spirit was unbreakable, who fought not just for herself but for any injustice she saw. The one who would stand for the right, irrespective of the cost. Despite laughing with Melisa and her gang, the school kids were secretly in awe of Ekim. She could do what they never had the strength or courage to do. She stood up tall against the bullying in the school. Many of them had found solace in her when they were cornered in this very school. She never held grudges, understanding them and their messed up familial backgrounds with a grace they knew they didn't deserve. Even after that brutal bullying in the washroom, she walked with her head held high demanding her phone back. Who was this girl who walked away silently with a bleeding head? What happened to Ekim?

Kanat remained shocked. He had thought his staying away from her would make everything okay. What if the damage he had caused was too much already? Because this wasn't his Ekim. Something was wrong. Very wrong. And he had to make it right for her. For his Ekim. His kahraman kiz would be back. He will make sure of that. Ekim could not help him this time, but he knew who else could.