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𝓢𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓪
It'd been around three weeks, and I was still holed up in the lodge. Tyler was still here too, and was keeping me company. Quiet company.
I gnawed on my fingernails, deep in thought. "Should I do it?" I looked at Tyler, making him look up from his phone. He was confused til he put his thoughts together. He hummed in thought.
"You want honesty or sugar water?" He asked. I held back a laugh at the weird analogy. "Honesty. I need honesty." I said, making him give me a serious look.
He sighed and sat his phone down before giving me his full attention. "Honestly," He started. "I think your career is flourishing. And you fought for that. And I know that this will be a set back. If you can't handle everything you juggle now, imagine juggling all that and a baby." He said. I stayed quiet. "More specifically, a baby by the nigga who— is my friend— but he ain't shit." He finished.
I stayed in thought for a few minutes before I stood up and grabbed my car keys. "You're right." I sighed before walking towards the door. "You about to go do it now?" He asked. I nodded. "Alone?" He said, confused. I paused before nodding again.
He shook his head before standing up and putting on some slides. "Nobody should go through something like that alone." He commented before walking past me out the door. I smiled gratefully and followed behind him.
The drive was long. We were by the beach, so i expected the drive to take a while. I was riding in silence, and Tyler didn't mind. I think that's why we coexist so well. The world is a loud place, sometimes all you want is quiet.
Usually I was easily excitable, and very extroverted but I wasn't feeling it. I hadn't spoken to anyone besides Uzi and Aunt J. Caresha called a few times and we spoke, but other than that I'd just spend all my time on the sand, thinking about everything.
I wanted to call Susi, but I'm too embarrassed to explain everything that'd happened.
I was so angry for the first few days. I wanted to break everything in sight. I wanted to yell at paparazzi, I wanted to refuse pictures and autographs and interviews.
I thought I was angry at Tanner. And for the most part, I was. But I was more angry at the fact that after all this; I still wanted her.
I was mad at Jai too, but honestly, I wasn't surprised. I was more surprised at the fact she liked girls than I was at the fact she'd choose the girl I wanted.
I loved them both. I couldn't understand why they'd do me so bad. Jai had been there for me all this time, through everything. She knew everything about me, I knew everything about her. I'd defend her with my last breath.
