Chapter 9: Hanging Out!

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E M B E R

"What a day! We got good deals and free cake." Ivory exclaims after we grab our orders and settle down in our seats. 

I nod.

"Tiring." 

It's four thirty in the evening, and we have been in the local mall since lunch after roughly spending 10-15 minutes making me change into her clothes: a hoodie and jeans since my only piece of attire has turned into nightwear. I glance at the bags and sigh. We really shopped a lot. Mostly, she did. 

Ivory grabs my attention as she scoffs, "Oh, please!" she leans back and grins, "I can shop all day long. I had so much fun shopping with a friend, though." I can't help but cringe a little before I let a small smile appear on my face as she tears the wrapper of her madeleine cake, and I grab my cup of hot mocha in silence until she then blurts out, "So, tell me about you." 

I raise my gaze and then tilt my head in slight confusion. 

Ivory bites into the cake and shrugs at me. "What? I know nothing about you, and for us to be best friends, I need to know everything that was your life before you came here." she then leans in and eagerly stares at me, making me anxious as I purse my lips and look down at the cup tightly gripped between my hands, contemplating what to tell her about my life. 

Should I tell her the truth? Should I tell her I'm a werewolf Alpha, not a human? Or should I continue with my lie? It's not like anyone here would ever meet me once I go back. I can't yet feel my powers fully back. I wonder what's taking them so long to restore. What if I never turn into my wolf form? 

Ugh, can't you think a little positively, Ember? At least believe in me if you still have to be a pessimist.

I sigh when she snaps her fingers in front of my eyes, "Hey, where'd you go?" 

I blink to look back at her. "Huh?" 

Ivory smiles. "C'mon, let me know you. I will do the same."  

For what feels like an eternity, I take a deep breath and shrug, "Well, I'm — just me." her smile falters and then she scoffs, "What?" I tilt my head and smile slightly. She continues, "What kind of an introduction is that? I know you're you, but there must be more, don't you think?" It's not usual for people to ask me what I am, who I am, or how my life is going, but what's really anxious about those questions is that I don't seem to have an answer. At all. 

Ever since that night, I never really thought of myself as an individual. I never thought of my dreams and my desires. I was swamped with work, and then there was revenge against those who tried to maim my pack. So, now that someone else is asking me about myself, I don't really have an answer, nor do I want to.

But I know I have to say something. 

How about "I'm the bitch who makes things worse for people who mess with my family and me"? 

Uh, something lighter, perhaps.

I shake my head and force myself to smile again as I cough up, "I really have never thought about it." 

Way to go, Ember!

I roll my eyes at my wolf's sarcasm. 

Ivory frowns and then raises her eyebrow, blurting out, "About what? About yourself?" I purse my lips and shrug as I nod. 

"Why not?" 

I raise my gaze and begin actually to wonder. How could I think of myself when my family and pack went through so much? I couldn't just ignore them and focus on what I wanted back then, right? I sigh. "I don't know. I was always busy with one thing or other. Never really had time to deeply think about what I want." 

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