Through It All

Chapter 1

Summary:

Up watches the realization dawn across Kao's face, his eyes going wide, expression instantly shifting from confusion into guilt.

"Fuck, baby, oh my god," Kao breathes. "Our anniversary."

-ˋˏ ༻✿༺ ˎˊ-

"More water, sir?"

Up turns to the waitress, offering a polite smile as he declines her offer, his glass half empty and the ice cubes long melted. He's been sitting in this restaurant for over an hour now, And Kao is nowhere to be seen and not responding to his texts.

Normally that would be concerning, but considering the past two months, have seen Up spending a majority of his evenings without his husband, he mostly just feels tired.

"I think I'm going to just head out," he says before the waitress can walk away. He leaves a small stack of bills on the table as compensation for wasting her time, then makes a hasty exit while avoiding the pitying look she's sending his way. It's even more humiliating that the staff knows him here, in this very restaurant being his and Kao's favorite spot for special occasions.

He checks his phone one last time as he pushes out the front door of the restaurant. No new notifications. He pockets his phone with a sigh, heading towards his car, and as if on cue he feels a small splatter of a drop of rain on his face.

The drive home is short, thankfully, because Up doesn't know how much longer he can keep his emotions contained, and he doesn't need to have a breakdown at a red light in the middle of a downpour, thank you very much.

The house is dark when he pulls up, Kao's Audi still missing from the driveway, and Up holds his tears in just long enough to make it through the front door before he crumples in the foyer, coat and boots still on.

It fucking hurts like hell, but with the way Up has practically felt like he lives alone for the past two months, it, disappointing, isn't a big surprise that Kao forgot about their anniversary dinner. Still, Up lets the tears flow freely, staining his cheeks and soaking his slacks from where he's buried his face in his tucked knees.

He lets his head tip back against the door, trying valiantly to blink some of the tears away with minimal success, before pushing himself up off the floor and kicking his boots off. He doesn't even have the energy to hang his coat up, instead slinging it over the banister as he climbs the stairs up to the loft, throwing himself face down on the bed. He drags Kao's pillow towards himself, pressing his face into it and inhaling the faint scent of his husband's conditioner, but it doesn't bring him comfort like it used to, instead forcing more tears out, Up muffling a sob into the down of the pillow.

He's so stuck in his misery that he doesn't hear the sound of the Audi pulling up, or the front door opening, and it's only when he feels a hand pet at the back of his head that he realizes Kao is home.

"Why are you crying?" Kao murmurs, and usually, that soft tone soothes Up, but right then it just sets him off.

Up whips his head up to glare over his shoulder, and by the way, Kao flinches back, he knows his eyes are storm clouds. "What the fuck do you mean why?" Up snaps.

Kao flounders, his mouth opening and closing while his brows pinch together in confusion. Up rolls his eyes and gets up off the bed, pushing past Kao and down the stairs from the loft. Kao chases after him, grabbing him by the arm and spinning Up to face him. Up yanks his arm out of his grasp, eyes sharp and scowl set deep in the lines of his face.

Up watches the realization dawn across Kao's face, his eyes going wide, expression instantly shifting from confusion into guilt.

"Fuck, baby, oh my god," Kao breathes. "Our anniversary."