3x7 [rewritten] | clexa

two

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Clarke woke up from her nap after an hour or so. The sun had wandered further, not falling into the window directly anymore, and Clarke knew she had missed her cue to leave. She found herself caring far less than she'd thought she would.

Right now, she only cared about where Lexa had gone, because she wasn't in bed anymore but Clarke hadn't noticed her leaving either. She looked around, but Lexa wasn't to be seen. So Clarke slipped out of bed still entirely naked, forcing her limbs from the warm blankets and soft furs to check Lexa's chambers. The door to the bathroom stood slightly ajar and Clarke carefully pushed it open entirely.

Lexa stood by the bathtub lighting candles, her back turned towards Clarke covered by a robe. The silk fell over Lexa's curves loosely yet it was tight enough to accentuate her body, and the shiny material gleamed in the candle light. "You didn't wake me," Clarke said softly from her spot by the door not to startle the other woman.

Lexa turned around and her breath visibly hitched seeing Clarke, looking over her once and then twice before meeting her eyes. "Why should I have?"

"You don't want me to leave," Clarke stated matter-of-factly.

No, Lexa thought, of course she didn't want Clarke to leave. But she would also never, ever in her life be as selfish as to purposefully lock Clarke in. "I want you to take a breath. Trying to fix everything all the time doesn't leave so much time for a break. I can arrange for you to travel to Arkadia in time, there are some loopholes in the blockade."

"You know... I thought maybe I'm just going to stay," Clarke said and joined Lexa by the water.

"But your people-"

"I don't want to be locked up in Arkadia for an unknown time only to try and overthrow Pike," Clarke cut her off. "Octavia is on her way, Kane is a good man and I think together with my friends and some trustful guards, they're going to manage just fine. I'm sick of taking the slim chance to help people who don't want to be helped over everything else. I don't consider the people who follow Pike my people, and for the others, my best shot at help is staying in Polis to ensure safety once Pike is overthrown. Your people hate mine. If I run now, they will only consider me weak."

"What about your friends? They need you, Clarke."

"My friends? You mean Bellamy, who's with Pike? Octavia, who's always had her own mind to everything? Raven, who still hates me because of Finn? Jasper and the others, who can't even look into my eyes? I will see them again, Lexa, after Pike. After we figure out a way to save the world. They don't need me in Arkadia right now, and I don't need them. I need you," Clarke added, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lexa's eyes were warm and dark in the dim light, ever so big and beautiful as they poured out every thought on Lexa's mind. They were glassy, shining with tears in the flames of the candles and when Clarke pressed a kiss on her lips, a few tears left her eyes at once.

This is all I ever wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry," Lexa stuttered and reached up to wipe the streaks of wetness away, but Clarke was faster. Her thumb brushed over Lexa's cheek and she got lost spacing out on the trail still left there gleaming.

"You broke my heart," she said then, sounding so terribly vulnerable, and Lexa felt like she'd been punched in the gut. She didn't want to hear that, but she knew it was the only thing she truly deserved from Clarke. "You left my people to die like they meant nothing, you made me kill hundreds of innocent people, children, lovers. It wasn't even the worst. You broke my heart once when you made me kill Finn and when you made Raven hate me, both permanent things in sacrifice of a coalition you just abandoned. But not even that was the worst. You made me fall for you, you lured me into that trap, only to look straight into my eyes while breaking my heart into two again."