Wanda Maximoff One-Shots

Chapter 6: I'm Lovin' It 🍋

A/N: This was a request from @JGMG10. Enjoy!

"Hey, uhh I'll take one of those adult happy meals please. The McNugget one, please? With a sprite."

You never ate at McDonalds, but for the past couple of weeks Wanda had been talking non-stop about the new adult Happy Meals. Unlike you and your red-blooded American childhood, Wanda had never experienced the sheer joy of having your parents pick you up the iconic kids meal for lunch after a doctor's appointment. The idea of bringing that nostalgia back in an adult size made you chuckle, but to Wanda it was the chance to experience a part of childhood she wasn't afforded. So when you had to stay late at work and she told you she'd be stuck at school for an emergency faculty meeting you thought it would be the perfect time to surprise her with the tantalizing taste of Americana.

As you drove home, you smiled thinking about how Wanda would react to seeing the surprise you'd brought her. You had already texted her that you'd take care of dinner. She probably thought it'd be Thai or something that you two enjoyed. She was definitely in for a surprise. While she wouldn't be expecting the McDonalds, there's no way she would expect the minor change you made to its contents.

"Wands? You home?" you hollered down the hall of your two bedroom apartment as you walked through the door, duffel bag of dirty scrubs in one hand and Happy Meal in the other.

"No. I'm on the beach, miles away from the bullshit of middle school politics," you heard her shout from the kitchen.

"Oh good, that means I can eat your dinner" you shot back, dropping your bag and kicking off your shoes.

"Don't you even think about it, mister." She charged into the front hall from the kitchen, a glass of red wine in one hand and the bottle in the other. She'd already changed out of her school clothes, exchanging her slacks and sweater for one of your hoodies and a pair of gym shorts. "What'd you bring? I hope it's lasagna. God I hope it's lasagna."

"Nice try, Garfield, but I got you something a little more...exciting." You held up the box for her to see.

Wanda's eyes grew huge as she looked at the colorful cardboard box in your hands. "Is that a Happy Meal?" she asked in stunned disbelief.

"All yours, babe. I'll make myself a sandwich."

Wanda squealed with delight as she ripped the box from your hands and raced into the kitchen. "I GOTTA SEE THE TOY!" she shouted.

You smirked as you followed her into the kitchen, anxious to see her reaction. You turned the corner just as she placed it on the island in the center of the kitchen and ripped open the top. She stood on her tiptoes to peer in the box. And you watched as her expression of excitement quickly changed to one of confusion.

"Babe?" she asked.

"Yeah, what's up?" you replied, feigning confusion.

"There's...there's something wrong with the toy."

"What's wrong with it?"

Wanda reached in and pulled out a gigantic flesh colored dildo. "Either they're trying a new sex positivity promotion or somebody's got some explaining to do." You couldn't tell if she was amused or annoyed.

"Well, I've got that training coming up and I'll be gone for a couple of weeks. And that's the longest we'll have been apart since we moved in together, so I wanted to get you something so you can take care of yourself," you explained.

Wanda held the dildo in her hands, examining it from every angle. "It's bigger than you," she finally declared.

"Ouch. Way to rub it in."