Years in the Making

Chapter 10

Becky couldn't say she saw every quarter-hour go by, but that was only because she didn't have a clock in the living room—a fact she quickly remembered when she kept waking up and wondering what time it was. Serves me right for giving the interior designer free rein, she thought as she struggled to get comfortable on the couch. She was at home so little that she figured it didn't matter, but now she was missing the little homey touches. Room by room, she told herself. I'll start with the living room. Get some fun throw pillows, buy some art.... Thinking about revitalizing her space helped distract her for a while, but it wasn't long before Becky was wide awake again. What is WRONG with me? she thought, turning onto her other side. Sure, the couch wasn't her usual sleeping spot, but it was comfortable enough during the day and for one night, it should have been fine.

The answer, of course, was obvious, but she didn't want to admit it, not even in the privacy of her own head. Seth wasn't snoring or, like her, tossing and turning, but she was still keenly aware of his presence in her room. In my bed! she swore at herself, hauling blankets over her head. She was going to have to change the sheets on her bed again, because there was no way she would be able to sleep on them with the scent of Seth's shampoo on her pillows.

"Becks?" Seth's voice was soft enough that if she weren't already awake, she probably wouldn't have heard it, but it still startled her. Pawing her way out of her cocoon of covers, Becky turned around enough to see Seth standing at the other end of the couch, pushing his hair out of his face.

If I need something, I'll let you know. She'd made him promise that last night. He probably just needs another blanket, she reasoned, or he wanted a drink but didn't want to scare me by turning on the light. "Hey." She tried to clear her throat, but her voice still came out like a croak. "Sorry. You weren't trying to wake me for very long, right?"

Seth shook his head. "No. I just got out here. I was wondering—"

"What do you need?" Becky sat up quickly. Even though her flight attendant career had gone nowhere, she still knew a few things about being a good hostess. "I have lots more blankets and pillows, and—"

"Would you come sleep in your bed, please?" There was no demand in Seth's voice, no whine, just the thickness of sleepiness. "It doesn't feel right to have you sleeping on your couch and I know you're not comfortable out here."

Shit. Could he hear her tossing and turning from the bedroom? "Sorry. I didn't mean to keep you up. I'll find a comfortable spot, I swear." Maybe on the floor? she thought. She certainly had enough blankets; she could easily make herself a little nest, just like she and her brother used to do when they were watching wrestling late at night.

"Becky, please." He leaned against the back of the couch, blocking some of the ambient light from the street. "We've shared a bed on the road before. It's fine." With a chuckle, he added, "If it will make you feel better, you can stick a pillow between us."

Becky hoped it was still dark enough that he couldn't see the blush rising in her cheeks. "It's not—" She stopped abruptly. They had come so far—or she had, rather, since the problem was hers—and she didn't want to undo all that, but there was no point in dancing around the issue either. "It's not you. Or that."

"Then would you please come sleep in the bed?"

His voice was rough too, and that was what decided it for her. If she went without a night of sleep, that was her own fault, but she didn't want Seth to suffer because of her. "Okay," she said at last. "I'd be fine out here, but...."

"Thank you." When Becky stood and started to fold her blankets, Seth grabbed her arm gently. "We can do that tomorrow."

Becky was about to protest again, but she nodded instead. She could argue all night to the point where neither of them got any sleep, and it wouldn't do either of them any favours. Plus, now that she was out of her cocoon of covers, she was starting to get goosebumps. "I'll do it tomorrow," she corrected, letting the blanket fall back to the couch. "You don't have to help."

"Just because you're Irish doesn't mean you have treating being stubborn like it's a full-time job, Becks." Seth's voice was still sleepy, but it was brighter now. He stopped by the hallway to make sure she was following, and motioned her ahead. "I don't know if you have a favourite side of the bed."

Whichever one you weren't using? Becky nearly choked on her own breath but managed to make it back to her bedroom, lit only by the bedside lamp. "Either's good," she said. "I'm not usually here long enough to have a preference." She turned on the room light out of habit, hoping some familiar action, however small, might help steady her.

"You take by the lamp then." Seth paused by the foot of the bed and Becky did her best not to notice how low his shorts were sitting on his hips. "Is this enough blankets for you?" he asked, almost hesitant. "I had to kick some off—"

"Because you were too warm. Of course. Sorry." In her desperation to be a good hostess—and to try anticipating anything he might need—she had overcompensated like usual.

Seth's smile glinted in the dim light. "Stop apologizing. It's not a big deal. Besides, you're here now, so you can take the extras. See? It all works out."

To keep herself from staring at Seth, Becky gathered all the blankets he had kicked away and spread them over her side of the bed. She probably wouldn't need all of them, but maybe the sheer weight of them would smother her and put her out of her misery. Once she had her side all set up, she realized she hadn't brought in her water, but she couldn't force herself to go back for it. I probably didn't have much water left anyway, she thought, eyeing her en suite door. A trip to the bathroom wouldn't hurt, but she didn't want to make Seth think she was avoiding him—or that she had to talk herself into such a simple thing as sharing a bed. When there was nothing else to do but put out the light, Becky grabbed a pillow and started to set it in the middle of the bed.

Seth shot her a look. "I was joking, Becky. You don't need to put a pillow there. I trust you."

That makes one of us, Becky thought as she walked over to the light switch and put the room in near darkness. She dove under the covers as quickly as she could, turning off the lamp as well, trying to conjure up some sleep—or at least the willpower to ignore the fact that for the first time in a long time, she wasn't alone in her bed.