ꜱɪᴅᴇʟɪɴᴇꜱ | 𝐲. 𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐤𝐚

Sidelines

I've always wanted to live a life like those girls in mangas.

But I know it will never happen, after all, I've waited all this time for nothing.

"Hi, Hitoka." She turned her head towards the source of the voice, greeting her best friend with a smile.

"Oh, y/n, hi ! Did you sleep well ?" She received a nod from her friend before engaging in conversation to wait until the teacher arrives.

"By the way, I think I've finally decided on a club to join, I was thinking about the volleyball club, they need a second manager and they're all nice to me !" She looked happy with her decision, she would finally have many people to talk to.

"I'm glad to hear this, I hope you'll have fun with them." y/n was relieved to know she would make other friends than her, but deep inside she thought it would only cause them to spend less time together.

How selfish can I be ? I want to spend more time with her, but she's already happy with the volleyball club.
Nevermind.. As long as she's happy, I should also be happy for her.

Of course it was bound to happen, I knew it. After Hitoka joined her club, we spent less time together out of class. But it's fine, I'm still her best friend after all.

The sound of volleyballs and shoes squeaking reached my ears, it looked like my legs brought me here when I was in my thoughts. I really want to see Hitoka that much huh..?

"y/n ? What brings you here ?" She must have heard me open the door even though I tried to do it as silently as possible.

"Ah.. Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I.. just wanted to pass by your club I guess."

"O-Oh okay ! Well, training is almost over so-" Hitoka was cut off by someone approaching behind her. Ah right, if I recall correctly, that's Kiyoko.

"It's alright Hitoka-chan, you can go home if you want, I'll take care of the rest." She sent me a small smile to greet me, to which I sent one back at her while nodding.

"A-Alright ! I'll be there in two minutes y/n !" She hurried back inside to gather her stuff while I was standing a bit awkwardly at the entrance with Kiyoko in front of me.

"Uhm... Does she feel at ease around them..?" I noticed how much the boys were screaming and I do know that Hitoka is not the biggest fan of this much noise.

Kiyoko nodded and looked at said girl who was almost finished packing up. "Yes, she adapted quite well to the team. And she's been a real help ever since she joined."

I nodded before Hitoka finally arrived and said goodbye to her team. "Okay, we can go now y/n. S-Sorry for the trouble Kiyoko." She bowed her head as the manager gave her a pat on the head. "It's alright, don't worry about it. I'll see you tomorrow Hitoka-chan."

What is this pang in my heart ?

One month. It has been one month since Hitoka joined the volleyball club, and it was at that time that I realized my feelings for her.

What should I do...?

They have been spending less time with each other, but it didn't mean that they never hung out together. To y/n, it just felt a bit more lonely.

She wanted to confess her feelings to the blonde girl, maybe she would accept and they would be able to spend so much time together. But the fear of rejection was preventing her from doing so.

But still, she noticed how often Yachi was next to Kiyoko. They were both managers for the same team, sure, but it hurt y/n a bit when she had to become accustomed at seeing this on a daily basis.

I don't even know if she likes girls... How dumb am I for falling in love with her...?

Maybe.. Maybe I'll just confess.. We've known each other for so long, I have a chance right ?

I asked her to meet me at the park near the school, so I could confess to her. I don't know where this came from but I feel like it's going to be okay.

"Hey Hitoka." Ever since I realized my feelings for her, it seemed like she was becoming prettier each passing day.

"Hi y/n ! It's been some time since we last hung out at this park ! What do you wanna do ?" I'm really happy to be able to see her smile directed at me when she talks, I can't stop myself from letting a small smile creep up on my face when I see her.

"Actually, I just wanted to talk to you about something." I took a deep breath as Hitoka tilted her head with a curious look.

"I... I fell in love you Hitoka. I don't understand how my heart works but I always feel good and safe when I'm around you. I want to spend more time with you, not as a friend but as your lover. So please, will you be my girlfriend..?"

Ah, I said it. There's no backing down now.

To my surprise, she was smiling, and it could only mean one thing. She was answering me, but..

Why can't I hear the words coming out from her ?
I want to hear it, please. Please let me hear those words.

"Huh ?" Oh.. Of course.. Of course it was a dream. It would've been too good to be true. But maybe.. just maybe.. it's a sign..?

With new found determination, I rushed out of the empty classroom and ran straight to the gymnasium. I wanted to tell her, everything will be fine, it's not going to be the same as that time. I'm sure of it.

I was nearing the building, but I heard someone talking behind it. I didn't want to eavesdrop, but my body froze.

"...Kiyoko-senpai, w-will you please go out with me ?!" That voice. I recognize it too well. It can't be. Please. No. Not again. I don't want to go through this again.

"...Yes." Once again. I'm too late. Too dumb for having feelings that would never reach. Life isn't a manga, no matter how much you go through, there can always be more. Some people don't have their happy ending.

Listening to their now muffled voices, I walked aimlessly in the streets. It was too much.

"It was to be expected.. I just want to be happy... Why can't I have it..?"

"Ah.. I can't take it anymore... I'm sorry Yachi. Thank you for being there for me, but I can't stand being on the sidelines again."

I jumped, and everything went black.

// Hi ! Thanks for reading this oneshot ! I tried something and I hope you liked it.
I'm sorry for my other haikyuu fanfic but I don't think I will ever continue it.

For the few people reading this, I'm thinking instead of doing a collection of oneshots (only for certain female characters and with a female reader because I can't get yuri out of my head.)
Would you guys be interested in this ? I'd take requests and everything.

Anyway, thank you very much for reading all of this, I really appreciate it !