"Public opinion has gone up?" I offered.
The mayor glowered at me. "At the expense of your department's integrity, Commissioner!"
Integrity, dignity, all of these concepts were good and all, but at the end of the day, the department was solving more cases than ever. Police headquarters looked like a county fair, writers' convention, Las Vegas, childcare center, all rolled into one, but crime was at an all time low.
"Do you think this is a joke?" the mayor asked. "You've gotten people out of jail and are making them work with law enforcement. That celebrity psychic recently brought a Kardashian to the crime scene!"
"Technically it was a Jenner, sir."
"What about the kids? There's a child genius working in your forensic department. If something happens to her, her parents will sue us into oblivion. You want to defund the police, Commissioner? Because that seems a good way of doing it."
"Vera is qualified to be there, and she and her parents have signed the liability waivers."
The mayor balked at me for a moment. "Now, that's just bad parenting."
"She helped us catch the Mahogany Killer."
"The one who killed her older sister?"
I'd hoped he didn't know about the personal connections. He ran a hand through his hair and fell into his chair.
"Look, Commissioner. Not only are all of these people wholly unsuited for the work you do, most of them have a personal vendetta against some killer or another. What happens when one of them snaps and unloads a magazine into their archnemesis before you even read them their Miranda rights?"
I didn't have the heart to tell him it had already happened twice.
"They would've found the killers on their own if that was their intention. They're working with us because they respect the law."
None of them respected the law. We had a doctor who liked to break into suspects' houses secretly.
"And that bat... That is an adult man gallivanting around the city in a bat costume. I heard another one's popped up, wearing a spider costume. What is with these people and gravitating towards creepy animals? Shouldn't you catch them and have them admitted to the psychiatric institute?"
"They do good work, sir."
"You should do good work, Commissioner. Not depend on these kids, criminals, and freaks. And now I'm hearing of office romances? Your normal police officers are getting married to these people, having kids? How is that professional?"
The public lapped it up, shockingly.
"Technically, they're not breaking any rules. The consultants aren't permanent employees." The mayor groaned. "We are skating by on technicalities and loopholes, Commissioner. How long do you think you can keep doing this?"
"Eventually, we're run out of criminals," I mumbled.
"You're right. Those that you don't catch, you'll make your consultants!"
