in your eyes

flower fields and talking trees

"Come with me" you said, in the middle of the night, as if possessed. It was as dark as never, considering the city lights usually shine through the curtains no matter how tight you close them or even tape them to the wall. Maybe a blackout? But why were you up?

I slowly get out of bed, my feet still wonky from my brain trying to comprehend what is going on, having been snatched from the land of dreams. Your grin ever so bright even surrounded by darkness made it easier to get out of bed though, and i was also very curious as to what was going on.  "Take this bag and put on some clothes and shoes. Maybe a dress would be great. Hurry." Okay. Even more confused i start getting dressed as you shuffle around the flat, tossing something in your backpack every now and then. I knew you were a spontaneous person but i never would have expected this. What are we even gonna do, everything is closed, it's the middle of the night?

A little later i find myself sitting next to you in an old Porsche 911 down the street. "Did you steal that? haha. Where did you get a car like this?!". "Just sit back and trust me, you're gonna love this." You said as you leaned forward to put something under my seat, softly caressing my exposed leg with your lips. If this is all it takes to get me to listen to you i'll be damned. But fine, i'll wait it out. Wherever you're taking me, there must be a very good reason for someone like you to get up at 3am. You pull a little speaker from your bag and tell me to connect to it and set the mood. 'Set the mood', as if you didn't with the car in the first place. So, 1960's jazz it is. As i play the first song you start the engine and we slowly start rolling down the street, out of the city, somewhere far away.

Where the hell are we? We've been passing fields and plains for ages now and it's slowly getting brighter and brighter. Every now and then i hear you mumble something to yourself about timing and expectations or whatever. My mind isn't close enough to concentrate on it or make it out. These fields remind me of my childhood, of running through corn fields with my arms spread like wings. I haven't felt free like that in a while, but i think i am close to finding peace again. Maybe freedom isn't meant to bring peace? Somehow it seemed easier to feel at ease back then, to fall into someones arms who wasn't there. Maybe the wind, or the sun who tickled my skin. To this day i don't know what it was, but i am sure i didn't feel alone in that moment. It was as if someone or something else took all the weight off my shoulders to let me catch a breath for once. Where did it go, the time in which your greatest concern was whether you should draw before or after lunch, or whether it was a better day for the lake or running in the fields? 

Your hand on my shoulder tore me out of my thought process. The words you spoke sounded muffled and i had to focus on my vision to make you out clearly again. You speak to my face, and as much as i want to respond and come back to you, the view of your face this close to mine just leaves me dazed, looking into your eyes and examining your facial features that i know all too well. "Princess!" you say in a clear, sharp tone, before you kiss me out of my daze. My tongue looking for more intimacy you reject by biting on my lip as a punishment instead. "Why didn't you answer me". Your voice is very stern and you eyes locked with mine in a serious manner. "We're gonna miss it, come now". You get out of the car and come to my side, to assist me out by reeling my waist onto you. It's gotten bright enough to see a little path through the grass, leading into the dark forest. 

With a little dread and serious commitment i follow as you lead the way through the dark, tremendous oak trees and the farns on the ground, which feel like they wrap around my ankles with every step, warning me from entering. Some shapes appear to the left between the trees and i hear some rustling leaves and snapping branches behind me. As long as i don't turn around nothing will happen, right? It's just my imagination playing tricks on me, surely. I grab a little fabric from your flannel and tuck on it with reservations. You don't even turn or tilt your head as you keep going. An owl flying past my head, almost scratching my head with its claws scares me so much that i cling onto your flannel harder without even realising. So you take my whole hand in yours and pull me to your side from underneath your arm. With your arm now wrapped around my waist as i lean onto your body you continue walking without saying a word. What has you so focused? "What are we doing h-", i start, but a harsh "Shh! I think it was over there. Stay quiet." interrupted me immediately. So we quietly walk in the direction you indicated. I think i saw the first sunray hit one of the trees just now. As i concentrate more on my surroundings and not my fear i see a faint fog hue all the surroundings. The farn disappears in a bright yellow/green coloured kind of dust and the air slowly gets a golden glow.