how does it feel to be so alone?!

1

Everything just hurts.

Another day, walking through the world with his people full of pain.
Some are addicted to drugs.
Some people with Sh.
Some people are just a$$holes who can't even take care of their own species.
Human.
It hurts to see all of them suffering.
with their problems.
If you look into their eyes, you can see that pain.
The people who hurt them most and who destroyed their life's.

And then there's me. a trans person,  and my parents hate me for it.

they won't accept me.
They never did.
Its hard to see all of your friends going on with their life's when you feel like you have never moved since 2020.
I could peel off my skin so disgusted am I for my biology.
Being pushed into the role of a woman is so exhausting. It ruins my life.
Even my friends do not know what they could do to seed flowers in my garden of confidence.
would Roses bloom?
they did once, but I missed the days to water them with taking care of myself.
I always water the flowers for other people.
Why am I doing this?!
I have no answer.
I cut the heads off.
I see my roses falling apart.
And I can't stop it.
I missed my chance.
the earth is dry.
They will never grow back.
but I tried.
I lay down on the field of my heart and can't feel the soft grass that once protected me from falling apart.
All I feel is hurtful and dry earth.
it's crawling up my back until the pain reaches my head.
It's hard to accept that you failed.
Because the hardest fight is the fight against yourself.
and I lost.