-𝔇𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔢'𝔰 ℑ𝔫𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔫𝔬 𝔛𝔛𝔛-

1. Introduction

((play the music. or your not reading the bible as god intended mama))
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i've just about lost it. gone bonkers. gone crazy. gone stupid, went funky. But, there is always one persistent constant that keeps the world turning. Without this concept the world would cease to exist, and this concept is the undeniable sexiness, that is -Dante -
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~CHARACTERS~

-Dante-

name: Dante (Sigma)
sexuality: gay (maybe)
height: 4"11
occupation: barista / menace
- our lovely protagonist, bottom energy and eventual war criminal -

-Pitbull-

name: Pitbull / Mr Worldwide / Mr. 305
age: 41
sexuality: bi (king)
height: 5'7
occupation: Mr. Worldwide
- first, sexiest, love interest. women want him, men want him, and want to be him. watch your panties and boxers as soon as this fine man struts into a room. *tiger noise and eagle noise*-

                                     -Sans-

name: Snas The Skeleton
age:  (hypothesized) 2,689 BC
sexuality: closeted gay
height: 5"4
occupation: bowling alley attendant
- his parents left him at a young age, so he was raised by wolves (goes up the stairs on all fours, wears cat ears and owns 2 or more tail butt plugs uh oh) and gained magical powers and  he listens to nightcore and uses deviantart and and and hardcore drug addict, ragingly horny, abusive, evil. anyways, dante but taller-

                        -Bhrams- (da boi)

name: Bhrams Pæussylicker
age: 17
sexuality: straight ( bottom )
height: 6'3
width: uh
occupation: serial killer / stalker
-ha bottom. bro has raging ibs. uh bro is weird probably has a fetish or something i dunno i'm an unreliable narrator!!! lick my sweet sweet nuts buttercup-

                                   -Zach-

name: Zenis (Zaza)
age: old
sexuality: bi (omg accuracy for once)
height: 5''10
occupation: dante's best friend
-secretly a vampire! whooo spooky oooky. but hides it because he's fucking emo. WHO KNEW HUH CRAZY, anyways. literally the only purpose of zach is to be a human meat shield for dante (best friend) uh so yea-

i'm lazy so
for the rest of the side character ahh motherfuckers mentioned  in this glorious historical nonfiction, you didn't make it to the character page hahaha you suck
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and finally, the smokin' ass definitely not self insert narrarator...

~yours truly, the one we've all been waiting for~
 
                               -DJ Khalid-

           (yes DJ Khalid is fucking narrating)
                            (anotha one)

it's like... my mind but imagine i'm in dj khalid's body and my name is dj khalid and i am globally famous. like i am his mind and spirit but i'm also god because you see quantum physics and uh and the theory of relativity and because i say so. Sin. sin city ( i don't know the rest of the song)
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word count: 439
page: 1