The four of Them

Girl meets Emotions

This was bullshit.

And this bullshit hurt. 

What was wrong with her? She had Uncle Boing now, and Riley and Lucas were happy together, sitting on the couch. She was holding Josh's hand, she should be satisfied. But the only thing she felt was...regret. She was dating her fantasy now—for 6 weeks a year though—but it should still be enough for her. She told Lucas to go after Riley; he cares about her and likes her for crying out loud.

But Maya liked him too.

Maya liked him enough to let him be with the person who was a ray of sunshine, the one who saw the best in people, and the one who fixes everything. If he chose Maya, everything would end so quickly, like every good thing in her life. He deserves Riley, not Maya, who would cause everything to crash and burn, the one who causes most of the drama in their life, the one who always calls him Sundance, Ranger Rick, HeeHaw, Bucky McBoing Boing and every other stupid nickname she came up with.

But he's happy now. He's happy with Riley, so Maya should be happy with Josh. Her fantasy since middle school, and now she was dating him, so why the fuck wasn't she ecstatic?

She was sitting on the bay window of the ski lodge, Josh sitting next to her, talking about college, but that all came in one ear and out the other. What she was really paying attention to was Riley and Lucas sitting together on the couch, cuddling like there were no problems in the world, being all lovey-dovey. Seeing Riley happy made Maya happy, and that's the only thing that really mattered to her...that Riley was happy. 

But she found herself wishing she was Riley at that moment. Wishing that she was the one Lucas kissed on the forehead, then he pulled her closer to his side. She wanted that so bad, or just a sliver of it and she'll be fine with that. But she never got that, and never will, what she settled with was someone three years older than her, who was entering college and the only thing he could talk about is his college workload. That was what she earned though, she chose Josh over Lucas, over Huckleberry. 

She sighed audibly and tried playing it off as a yawn; Josh stopped talking to look at her, furrowing his brows.

"Am I boring you, Maya?" He asked with a tone of amusement coating his voice. Maya forced out a chuckle and shook her head.

"Nah, I'm just still tired, I think I need some more sleep" She uncrossed her legs and stood up, stumbling slightly because her legs fell asleep. She started heading up the stairs again all the while feeling Josh's eyes staring at the back of her head, and she had to focus on everything she had to not shiver in discomfort. Once she entered her temporary room, she slammed the door shut and winced, she didn't want to shut it so hard. 

She stood there for a minute, afraid someone was going to knock on the door and ask if everything was alright, because it wasn't, and that would be the last straw before she broke down and spilled all her feelings. She sat on the bed and stared at the door, hoping that no one would knock. She finally was able to tear her eyes away from the door and laid back on the bed, now staring at the wood ceiling fan above her bed, and let out a breath of relief. Then she heard it.

Knock knock. 

She sucked in her breath. Maybe if she stayed silent, whoever was at the door would think that she wasn't in there. A minute passed.

Knock knock.

She cursed under her breath but got up, she had to stop herself from walking to that door and opening it. She was afraid Josh was there, or Lucas, or worst of all Riley. If it was Riley, Maya would break down right then and there, telling Riley that she liked her best friend and now-boyfriend. That would certainly ruin their friendship, and Maya wouldn't be able to handle that; Riley was the one who stuck with her through thick and thin, ever since they were seven and she climbed up Riley's fire escape, following the beautiful singing voice she heard while in the streets of New York City.