SKIN & BONES

if you don't read the rest at least read this

everywhere i turn i am greeted by him—
silhouette stark black and
imposing
like the deepest depths of the ocean where the sunbeams
don't reach.
he acts as a blanket,
dampening every feeling, every sensation.
every day
when i wake up he's there
surrounding me
like a second skin that's way too tight.
and i feel for him exactly what
i'd feel for my lover—
if they were 8 feet tall and emptier than my stomach,
shrouded by darkness and silent as the dead.
built upon
the principle of
equivalent exchange.
with each day that passes he becomes
heavier,
and i lie in wait for the day he finally completely
suffocates the life out of me.
and i still cry
but less for your lazy, vacuous empathy and more for
the way my heart aches beneath
ever tightening ribs—
fighting and struggling to beat another day, another day.
one more day.
his hug is like a corset tied too too tight.
he's made himself comfortable
here
in my bed.
he's cuddled up with me
as if it's the morning after and i asked him
to stay
with a promise of breakfast.
a humble meal of my eyes and ears.
it's as if i'd said i wasn't ready to start the day.
now he won't let me
start any day.
and maybe i do want him to stay,
it's been so long i can't bear the thought of leaving him behind.
we've become
so comfortable together,
our essences fused.
the void that would be left in his wake
would have nothing to be filled with but bone shattering
loneliness
and with a track record like mine, that can't happen.
i'm sempiternal.
we are one in the same, him and i.
his kiss is cold as death
like a menthol cigarette and you know how i tolerate those.
oh, how i long for his aurora borealis
to take me over
with all those dancing colors
like solar flares.
i'll let him force me into comatose and steal my body,
i don't want it anymore.
he needs it more than i do so he can have it.
it's his to puppet now,
it's time for my soul to return home, back to the stars
where i belong.